Title: Skate Away
Fandom: Led Zeppelin
Characters: Robert, Maureen, Carmen, and Karac Plant, John Bonham, John Paul Jones, Jimmy Page
Word Count: 3723
Rating: PG
Warnings/Spoilers/Summary: Wonder what Robert was doing Christmas of 1976 while Summer was Christmassing with Jimmy? So did I. Oh the angst!


“River”

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby cry

He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish and I'm sad
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I made my baby say goodbye

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on



Skate Away

The children were inside with Maureen, doing something festive or another, but he was not. He could not fake happiness for another moment. That was precisely what it had been, false joy, for the past few weeks. And as Christmas was nearly upon him, Robert merely could not fake it for one more moment. So he bundled up, slipped something into his coat pocket, and claimed he was going to walk the farm’s perimeter to check the fences. Maureen said nothing, as he expected, merely nodding as he slipped out the door. He truly had no intentions of checking the fences on the property; it just seemed like a decent excuse for what he expected would be a long absence. No one would check up on him anyways, which was both a blessing and a curse. He really wished someone would come along and whisk him right out of his melancholy. But he knew that was never going to happen.

Far from his family’s home, Robert sat down on a smooth, round boulder and reached into his pocket. The corners were no longer pointed, but worn down and white. A crease ran horizontal but didn’t mark the image enough to worry. Instinctively he ran his thumb around her face, smiling to himself. The photograph had been taken more than a year prior, in the final days of true happiness he had. The smiles on both his and her faces indicated such, but oh how so much had changed since that day. He no longer could fold his arms around her, could no longer kiss her, could no longer love her. And it was nobody’s fault but his. She had been nothing but an angel and he nothing but a demon. He did not deserve her at all, but oh how he loved her. He loved her.

He didn’t understand for a moment why he was so stupid when it came to her. Yes, he felt an affection for Maureen, but that was merely because they had a history and two beautiful children together. And part of him still felt like he owed her for supporting him so much during the early years of their relationship, especially when he was unable to put food on the table himself. But he didn’t love Maureen, hadn’t for some time, certainly not since the day he met Summer. The petite blond was beautiful and caring and innocent and oh so many things. While he could say a number of nice things about his wife, he just... he just could not say he loved her any more. It was unfair to both of them to remain in the relationship, but every time he attempted to bring up the conversation of ending it something happened, something like a car accident that nearly ended her life. And yes, he still clung to guilt in regards to that, but it had happened more than a year prior. She was fine, the kids were fine, he was fine. He needed to stop using that as an excuse to torture himself. He belonged with Summer. He knew that, but why couldn’t he act on it?

Eyes drifting away from the photo in his gloved hand, Robert focused on the babbling brook at his feet. He had every reason to believe that Summer was somewhere in England, that one of the band members was taking care of her. And as that thought touched his mind, he wished the brook would turn into a river and freeze. Though he had no ice skates, he would certainly use it to skate away to her. But the brook was still a brook and Summer would not likely welcome him back into her arms. He had made her cry too much.

Oh how he wished his last memory of her did not involve tears running down her cheeks. It was the only thing he saw as he closed his eyes and that alone was the leading factor into why he slept so little since the final Song Remains the Same premiere party. Maureen thought it was something else, but as Robert rarely shared anything with her, she pushed not for him to divulge what weighted his soul. Oh if only she had, he could blurt out that he was in love with another, end their relationship, and win back Summer. But things were never, ever that simple. He didn’t like making women cry, especially those that meant something to him. If only he could walk away from Maureen without her tears and scoop up Summer in the same moment. Nothing ever happened how he imagined it.

Summer was the best thing to ever happen to him. Without even trying, she totally understood him. And oh how she loved him so naughty it made him weak in the knees. He had plenty of lovers before her, but not a single one since her. She would never be able to satiate his lust for her, not even if they spent every day until the end of eternity in bed. He just wanted, needed, her that much. She was the best baby he ever had. And he made her cry, made her say goodbye.

Perhaps he could ring her on the phone, just hear her voice once more. She had to be in the UK. Bonzo or John Paul would never abandon her, somehow so much smarter than he. He would return to the house, slip into a room and lock it behind him, and call until he found her. He just needed to hear her voice again. Then maybe, maybe he could... could what? Forget her? Never. Get over her? Never. Convince her he loved her? At this point he did not believe there were words available in any language to convince her of that. But he needed to try. Oh how he needed to try.

Looking at the photograph one last time, Robert smiled down at her. The way her eyes sparkled on that afternoon on the beach in LA outshone every glittering Christmas decoration. He knew that was the look of love, so why had he discarded it so? What would it take to recapture that? What did he need to do? He needed to get off his arse and call her. That’s what he needed to do. With a resolute decision in mind, Robert slipped the photograph back into his pocket as he stood. He was going to find her.

But all of his best laid plans were thrown off the track the moment he stepped back into the house and his children rushed up to him, throwing their short little arms around his legs, babbling about something he simply had to see. For the moment, Summer was forgotten.



The children were all nestled in their beds, with sugarplums dancing in their dreams. His wife had also retired to their room, leaving Robert alone to play St. Nick. He wondered if Maureen found it odd that he had not once slept in their bed since his return to their home, at least not while she was in it. But he wasn’t about to bring it up. Instead he placed packages around the small Christmas tree and prepared to slip into the children's rooms to fill the stockings he helped them tie onto the ends of their beds.

And yet as he moved about the house, doing the fatherly Christmas chores, he could not help but think of Summer. He had meant to call her two days before or at least find where he should call her, but had been completely distracted by his children. He would begin calling around right then, if he hadn’t thought it rude to ring people so late in the night. Surely whoever absorbed her into his family that holiday would make certain she had a lovely one. She would not be forgotten in the gift giving and festivities. But he wanted her to know he loved her. 

Both Bonzo and John Paul had kids. Certainly they would still be up, doing the same as he did. Ringing them in search of Summer would not truly disturb much, would it? Once Carmen’s stocking was filled, he would do just that. However as he slipped into the young girl’s bedroom, he heard soft sobbing. If he slipped items into her stocking then, the magic of Father Christmas could be broken. But he also couldn’t just slip out and pretend he hadn’t heard his daughter crying. So he set down his small bag with the small wrapped gifts for the children in it just outside the door and headed towards her bed.

“Carmen?” he muttered softly, kneeling beside her bed, his fingers reaching to brush hair from her face.

“D-daddy,” she replied.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?”

“I don’t... I don’t want you to be sad any more,” Carmen declared.

Robert frowned in the darkness. His little girl knew he was sad. That alone was worthy of a broken heart. His daughter should not be worrying about him, should never worry about him. It was his job to worry about her.

“Carmen, Daddy isn’t sad,” he declared.

“Yes, you are. You don’t smile any more, Daddy.”

Robert sighed, “Daddy just... just misses someone he loves very much.”

The little girl reached out and touched his cheek, “I love you very much. Don’t be sad, Daddy.”

His hand covered hers, “I’m going to try. But I don’t want you to cry any more, okay? Try and get some sleep so Saint Nick can come and visit you.”

“Daddy?” she asked as he got to his feet.

“Yes, Carmen.”

“Do you really think Saint Nick will bring happiness for you in my stocking?”

Barely able to not sigh, he replied, “I am sure whatever Saint Nick brings you will make me smile. Go to sleep.”

Rather than slip right back in to fill her stocking, knowing it would take the very perceptive young girl some time to fall asleep, Robert left the gifts just outside her door and returned to the living room. He adjusted some of the ornaments on the tree before fetching the new one he purchased a few weeks before while in New York for the movie premiere. He glanced at the clock, wondering if he should give up on calling Bonzo and John Paul. But no, his daughter did not want him sad any more. He needed to do something in order to not be that. He needed to talk to Summer.

Pushing away the knowledge that it was after one in the morning, Robert snatched up the nearest phone, plopping into the chair beside it. With little thought, he dialed up Bonzo’s number, hoping the drummer was not only awake but near enough a phone that the call did not wake the entire house. It rang twice before Bonzo’s gruff voice answered, demanding why someone would bloody call at that hour.

“Happy Christmas,” Robert stated.

“Fuck you, Percy,” he replied, but Robert could tell he was smiling. “Saint Nick keeping you up too?”

“Yea. Listen. I don’t suppose that Summer is staying with you?”

There was a pause almost as if Bonzo was trying to decide how to reply, “Nah, mate, she’s not.”

“Do you know where she is?”

“Uh...”

“Bonzo, come on.”

“Look, Percy, you’re like one of my best mates but Summer... Summer is like my little sister. And you hurt her really fucking bad. I still want to punch you for it.”

“I know, I know. But I can’t make it up to her if I don’t know where she is.”

Bonzo sighed, “Last I heard she was at Jonesy’s. She was there two days ago, but that doesn’t really mean anything. And don’t bloody call him this late. I am sure he’s not sitting by the fireplace drinking... well maybe he is sitting by his fireplace drinking a nice bourbon or something. But the fact of the matter is, don’t call him right now. Wait until the bloody morning, Percy.”

“But—”

“Wait until the bloody morning, Percy.”

Nodding he sighed, “My daughter was crying tonight when I went to go fill her stocking. She apparently wished Saint Nick would make me happy again.”

Bonzo was quiet for another long moment, “That’s fucking heavy, mate. Your daughter noticed that you’re incomplete without Summer. Fucking heavy.”

“Don’t I know it.”

“Go have a drink. Beat one out while thinking of the right woman. And get some rest. You need to at least pretend to be happy in the morning for your daughter. Then you can call Jonesy and talk to Summer.”

“Okay, okay. Hey, Bonzo, Happy Christmas.”



It was a bit of a surprise that he woke before the kids, considering how late he was up and how excited they were for Christmas. But he had reason to be excited himself: he was going to speak with Summer that day. He didn’t even care if she called him all the names in the book and swore at him. Just hearing her voice would change his life. And it was going to happen that day. He was certain of it. But first he had to attend to the children's morning.

Carmen was the first to emerge from her bedroom, giggling and chirping at the filled stocking at the end of her bed. His four year old son took a bit more time, perhaps sleeping and dreaming the happy dreams only little boys had, but he too soon joined Robert and Carmen in the living room. After encouraging the children to open their gifts from Saint Nick, he checked on Maureen in the kitchen, who smiled at him and held out a cup of tea. The parents returned to the living room as the children babbled excitedly about their small stocking gifts. Robert was certain they would have been plenty happy to receive those toys, could have cared less about the other packages wrapped under the tree. At least he had done something right by them, though really the more he thought about it, he could not really claim any role in their raising, as he had been on tour for much of it. Alas, his children were good children and that alone was enough to be grateful of.

It was not until late afternoon that he was able to slip away from his family. The children were happily playing with all of their toys, even Maureen seemed pleased with her gifts. With a lull of his needing to be present, Robert made his way out of the living room, heading to the back bedroom so he could close the door while on the phone. Doing just that, he sat on the bed, realizing how tired he was in that moment, and picked up the phone. Maybe he could get Summer to talk to him until he fell asleep, a nap was certainly needed before his parents arrived for Christmas dinner. He dialled John Paul’s number, counting the seconds between each ring.

“Happy Christmas!” a sweet voice answered the phone.

“Why hello there!” Robert greeted. “And how is Miss Jones doing on this fine holiday?”

“ROBBIE!!!” she squealed.

He smiled, “That well huh?”

“I gots a lot of dollies this year. One from Uncle Jimmy, one from Summer, and Daddy gaved me a beeeeeeaaaaautiful one too!”

His heart tripped at her mentioning Summer’s name, “I bet they’re lovely. Perhaps Carmen and you can play sometime soon. Would you like that, Tamara?”

“Oh yes, Uncle Robbie. I would very much.”

“How about you let me talk to your papa and we can figure out a time you girls can get together?” he suggested.

“Okay! Happy Christmas, Uncle Robbie!”

Waiting for John Paul to come on the line, Robert felt rather pleased that Summer was with the Jones, giving the girls gifts. She clearly had become a part of their family. He would have to thank John Paul for taking such good care of her.

“Happy Christmas, Percy,” a familiar voice greeted.

“Feliz Navidad to you, Jonesy,” he smiled, actually smiled in response. “The holiday has been good I hear.”

“Ah yes. The girls have had quite the year. On top of what we purchased them and their grandparents brought over, Jimmy stopped by unannounced the other day with gifts. It was quite unexpected and the girls loved his visit,” John Paul replied. “How has the day fared for you?”

“Better than I expected. We haven’t yet had to deal with my parents yet, so it could go either way, but Carmen and Karac have been all smiles all day,” Robert responded. “You said Jimmy stopped by?”

“He did. He was lonely, spending the holiday all alone. Mo was a bit concerned about Summer going home with him, but in the long run I think that was the best thing for him. We’ve all missed the girl for the past two days, especially this morning when the girls discovered Saint Nick had filled a stocking for her, but I really couldn’t say no to her when she asked,” he explained.

His heart plummeted into his shoes. He had always had issues with Summer and Jimmy’s relationship. It had been hard enough seeing her on Jimmy’s arm at all of the movie premiere events, but he thought she hadn’t been staying with the guitarist. And from John Paul’s brief description, it sounded as if she had been staying with his family for some time, became part of the family. But now... now she was with Jimmy. His innocent little love was with Jimmy. Even if he trusted Summer completely before, he had hurt her since; she would probably think nothing of taking up with Jimmy. Even if it wasn’t a relationship she instigated, there was no reason Summer had to resist Jimmy’s charm any more. After all Robert had abandoned her. Any woman would go to the man who wanted her and why not Jimmy? He was seductive and charming and all those things that many women loved. And he and Summer had a connection, had since nearly the beginning. Summer was not at John Paul’s and therefore Robert had no hope left in the world.

“Robert?” the bassist questioned after the long silence. “You okay?”

“Fine, fine,” he instantly replied. “I hope you continue having a lovely holiday. We will have to get the kids together soon so they can play together. I’ll let you go no—”

“She was waiting for you to call. Or to come by. Every single day she waited for you. She went with Jimmy because he came for her, he asked for her. She was waiting for you, Robert,” he stated.

Robert shrugged, not that John Paul could see it, “She was waiting. But she is no longer. Have a happy holiday, Jonesy. I’m sure I’ll see you soon.”

“Call her, Robert. Call her.”

Dropping the phone on the cradle, Robert laid down on top of the quilt of the guest bed. He turned on his side, curling into a fetal position. Tears instantly shimmered down his cheeks. He had done this to himself, he knew that. Perhaps that is why it hurt so bad. He let the one woman who was truly meant for him slip away, fall into the arms of another. Oh he was so very certain that she was in his arms. Why wouldn’t she be? Jimmy had always wanted her, Robert knew that. There was nothing to stop her at all. He had ruined his chances with his one true love, because he had been a foolish jackal the past year. But now he knew. He could not, would not continue to be foolish now that he was armed with knowledge that she had been waiting for him.

Rolling back over, he sat back up and reached for the phone. For a moment he wondered where Jimmy would have taken Summer. Considering that she had been at the Joneses just a couple of days before, he presumed Jimmy would not have gone back up to Scotland, at least not immediately. He would ring Jimmy’s London house first; it was the most logical choice.

The phone rang four times before stopping. There was a long, silent pause before Jimmy finally said a tentative hello.

Taking a deep breath, Robert spoke, “Happy Noel, Jimmy.”

“Percy? Uh, happy holidays to you as well.”

While he wanted to ask for her, he didn’t want to seem as if that was the only reason he was calling. But then again he didn’t want to mislead Jimmy. And the man did know him well enough to see through any facade he put up. Might as well avoid dancing around the subject.

“Can I... can I speak with Summer?”

“Uh, no. She’s in the shower,” he answered. “We are leaving to my parents’ house shortly thereafter. I will tell her you called. And she can call you back when she wants.”

“Can I call later tonight? I really want to speak with her, Jimmy.”

He sighed, “She’ll call you when she can, Robert.”

“All right. Make sure you tell her I called. And wish your parents happy holidays for me,” Robert finally conceded, though in the back of his mind he wondered how long he should wait before calling back. “Happy Christmas, Jimmy.”

“You as well, Robert. You as well.”

It didn’t sit all that well with Robert, but at least he had tried. He would wait until tomorrow for her to call back, before attempting to ring her again. Now that he knew where she was and that she had been waiting for him, Robert was not going to sit idly and hope... well he wasn’t sure why he hadn’t acted before. He would speak with his little girl by New Years, hopefully more. He had a bit of Christmas hope now.

But still wished nothing more than to skate away on a river to Summer.