Learning to Be
Posted by DiF on Sunday, August 14, 2011 Under: Mother's/Father's Day
Title: Learning to Be
Characters: Lily Walker, Lindsey Buckingham, baby Buckingham
Word Count: 1,296
Rating: PG [cuteness]
Warnings/Spoilers/Summary: It's Father's Day, 1981. Lily and Lindsey are home in LA after a month recording with Fleetwood Mac in France. And Lindsey is coming to terms with... his family. Contains spoilers.
June 21st, 1981
Staring down at the wiggling baby on the changing table, Lindsey’s brows furrowed. While he certainly did agree that parenting was something he should share with Lily, he had no clue what to do. He could have gone and asked Lily, but that would be admitting she was right and after their fight, he was not about to do that. Logically it should not be a difficult thing to do. People had been changing diapers for… ever. He could do it.
He stepped closer to the changing table and met his son’s eyes. The little boy wiggled more, his toothless mouth opening as he gurgled happily. Lindsey reached into the open package of diapers and unfolded it. Figuring it was simple, he lifted his two-month old son’s lower body from the changing table and shimmied the diaper underneath. Lindsey lowered the boy down and moved to pull the diaper between his legs. He fastened the sticky tabs around the baby’s waist and smiled triumphantly to himself.
“That wasn’t too bad, was it, Greg?” he commented and lifted the baby from the changing table.
The diaper instantly fell off, dropping back onto the changing table. Frowning Lindsey laid the baby back down and picked up the diaper, trying to figure out why it had not stayed on. His fingers touched the tab, discovering he pulled the sticky part completely off. With a soft grumble to himself, he dropped the diaper into the nearby diaper pail. Sliding another diaper under the baby, Lindsey leaned over to talk to the baby before attempting to fasten the diaper again.
The baby gurgled and waved his hands as Lindsey leaned up. Then promptly peed in Lindsey’s face.
“Goddammit, Gregory!” he growled, reaching blindly for anything to wipe his face.
The tone in Lindsey’s voice and his sudden change in mood made the baby instantly wail. Lily instantly stepped into the nursery, her golden eyes surveying the scene. Their baby lay on his back on the changing table, screaming as if the world was ending and Lindsey was wiping his face with a baby wipe. Instantly knowing what had happened, and feeling a bit vindicated by so, Lily fully entered the nursery and scooped the crying baby up. Holding the naked baby close to her, she softly hushed him, pacing around the nursery.
With the baby’s cries silenced, she turned to Lindsey, “Can’t even change a diaper without making him cry? Jesus, Lindsey.”
“He pissed on me!” he quickly retorted.
“He’s a baby. Only two months old. He doesn’t know what he’s doing,” she commented and stepped around him, laying the baby back down.
Lily made faces at the baby and showered his face and chest with kisses until he wiggled happily again. Without even a glance at Lindsey, she picked up another diaper, slid it under the baby quickly, and fastened it securely around his waist. Saying nothing, she picked up their son and moved away from the changing table, the baby’s head on her shoulder. She pulled a new clean outfit from his dresser and sat in the nearby rocking chair. With the baby cradled in her lap, Lily deftly dressed him in a green onesie, making faces at him so that he would smile up at her.
“Who’s a good boy?” she cooed, lifted him from her lap, and kissed him. “Mommy loves you.”
“Lily,” Lindsey approached her and the baby, “I want to do this father thing. I really do.”
“You couldn’t change his diaper and made him cry, Lindsey,” she declared.
He sighed, “I know. And I feel bad. I really do. It’s just… there really isn’t much I can do. He depends solely on you for nourishment. And I completely failed at changing his diaper because I don’t have a clue what I was doing. I should have been… I should have been learning all of these things while you were. But instead, I was absorbed by band shit. I’m sorry. Fuck, I shouldn’t have even taken you and our newborn to a different country just because Mick wanted to. I have fucked up really bad, Lily. I know this. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you and how I’ve treated Greg and… I just want to make things right. I just want to be a good dad.”
She sighed, “I’m not going to deny any of that is true, because… well it is. I guess recognition of it is a step in the right direction…”
He squatted in front of her, “What can I do? Tell me what to do.”
“Next diaper change, I’ll show you how to do it. And you can give him baths. And get up with him at night, as it isn’t always about nursing. And help around the house. And…”
“Anything. All of it. I’ll do all of it. I’ll cook and clean too. Anything,” he declared. “Forgive me?”
Her eyes softened and she reached out to him, her fingers grasping his, “Always.”
Glancing over at Lily as she nursed Gregory, Lindsey smiled and continued to play his guitar softly. He watched both mother and son relax as note drifted from the acoustic guitar. After the argument earlier in the day, he had successfully changed two of Greg’s diapers, cooked Lily dinner, and laughed through bathing the baby in the kitchen sink with Lily. He had not worked on mixing or overdubbing the album once since the fight.
And he was okay with that.
He felt lucky that he son was not yet three months old and Lindsey had discovered the pleasure of being a family man. He liked the sense of accomplishment he felt right then. It nearly eclipsed the feeling he had after completing an album. And to think it was only one day of doing so. He could not imagine how well he would feel after a week of taking care of his family.
His family.
“Lily?” he stopped playing.
“Yes?” her eyes met his.
Lindsey set his guitar down and moved over to join her on the sofa, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she smiled.
His hand caressed Greg’s head, bring a smile to his lips as well, “And now we have a family.”
“That we do.”
His hand dropped to grasp hers, “Lily, I want… if you want… I think we should… I mean…”
“What, Linds?”
He took a deep breath, “Marry me.”
She blinked, saying nothing.
“I know, I know. I should do this properly and get you a ring and get on one knee,” he rambled, before slipping off the couch to kneel before her. “You are my life, my love, my family. Marry me and we’ll declare it to everyone forever.”
“I…”
“Please, Lily. Please.”
Her eyes glanced down at the baby still suckling at her breast before meeting Lindsey’s eyes once more, “Yes.”
Lindsey quickly jumped up. He bent over and kissed her happily, promising to get her a proper ring the following day. Lily could not do much with the baby nursing, but she smiled, her golden eyes remaining on Lindsey as he paced about the room, apparently trying to figure out something.
He suddenly stopped and returned to her side, “I promise you that I am going to be the best husband and father ever.”
“I don’t doubt it at all. Not for a moment.”
He grinned and quickly kissed her, “Is he done yet? Can I hold him?”
Lily chuckled, easing the baby off her breast, “Burp him carefully, Linds. Like I showed you earlier.”
Rather than listen, he held the baby up in front of him, looking into Greg’s droopy eyes, “Your mommy is going to marry me!”
The baby’s only response was to spit up breast milk – all over Lindsey’s face.
Characters: Lily Walker, Lindsey Buckingham, baby Buckingham
Word Count: 1,296
Rating: PG [cuteness]
Warnings/Spoilers/Summary: It's Father's Day, 1981. Lily and Lindsey are home in LA after a month recording with Fleetwood Mac in France. And Lindsey is coming to terms with... his family. Contains spoilers.
June 21st, 1981
Staring down at the wiggling baby on the changing table, Lindsey’s brows furrowed. While he certainly did agree that parenting was something he should share with Lily, he had no clue what to do. He could have gone and asked Lily, but that would be admitting she was right and after their fight, he was not about to do that. Logically it should not be a difficult thing to do. People had been changing diapers for… ever. He could do it.
He stepped closer to the changing table and met his son’s eyes. The little boy wiggled more, his toothless mouth opening as he gurgled happily. Lindsey reached into the open package of diapers and unfolded it. Figuring it was simple, he lifted his two-month old son’s lower body from the changing table and shimmied the diaper underneath. Lindsey lowered the boy down and moved to pull the diaper between his legs. He fastened the sticky tabs around the baby’s waist and smiled triumphantly to himself.
“That wasn’t too bad, was it, Greg?” he commented and lifted the baby from the changing table.
The diaper instantly fell off, dropping back onto the changing table. Frowning Lindsey laid the baby back down and picked up the diaper, trying to figure out why it had not stayed on. His fingers touched the tab, discovering he pulled the sticky part completely off. With a soft grumble to himself, he dropped the diaper into the nearby diaper pail. Sliding another diaper under the baby, Lindsey leaned over to talk to the baby before attempting to fasten the diaper again.
The baby gurgled and waved his hands as Lindsey leaned up. Then promptly peed in Lindsey’s face.
“Goddammit, Gregory!” he growled, reaching blindly for anything to wipe his face.
The tone in Lindsey’s voice and his sudden change in mood made the baby instantly wail. Lily instantly stepped into the nursery, her golden eyes surveying the scene. Their baby lay on his back on the changing table, screaming as if the world was ending and Lindsey was wiping his face with a baby wipe. Instantly knowing what had happened, and feeling a bit vindicated by so, Lily fully entered the nursery and scooped the crying baby up. Holding the naked baby close to her, she softly hushed him, pacing around the nursery.
With the baby’s cries silenced, she turned to Lindsey, “Can’t even change a diaper without making him cry? Jesus, Lindsey.”
“He pissed on me!” he quickly retorted.
“He’s a baby. Only two months old. He doesn’t know what he’s doing,” she commented and stepped around him, laying the baby back down.
Lily made faces at the baby and showered his face and chest with kisses until he wiggled happily again. Without even a glance at Lindsey, she picked up another diaper, slid it under the baby quickly, and fastened it securely around his waist. Saying nothing, she picked up their son and moved away from the changing table, the baby’s head on her shoulder. She pulled a new clean outfit from his dresser and sat in the nearby rocking chair. With the baby cradled in her lap, Lily deftly dressed him in a green onesie, making faces at him so that he would smile up at her.
“Who’s a good boy?” she cooed, lifted him from her lap, and kissed him. “Mommy loves you.”
“Lily,” Lindsey approached her and the baby, “I want to do this father thing. I really do.”
“You couldn’t change his diaper and made him cry, Lindsey,” she declared.
He sighed, “I know. And I feel bad. I really do. It’s just… there really isn’t much I can do. He depends solely on you for nourishment. And I completely failed at changing his diaper because I don’t have a clue what I was doing. I should have been… I should have been learning all of these things while you were. But instead, I was absorbed by band shit. I’m sorry. Fuck, I shouldn’t have even taken you and our newborn to a different country just because Mick wanted to. I have fucked up really bad, Lily. I know this. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you and how I’ve treated Greg and… I just want to make things right. I just want to be a good dad.”
She sighed, “I’m not going to deny any of that is true, because… well it is. I guess recognition of it is a step in the right direction…”
He squatted in front of her, “What can I do? Tell me what to do.”
“Next diaper change, I’ll show you how to do it. And you can give him baths. And get up with him at night, as it isn’t always about nursing. And help around the house. And…”
“Anything. All of it. I’ll do all of it. I’ll cook and clean too. Anything,” he declared. “Forgive me?”
Her eyes softened and she reached out to him, her fingers grasping his, “Always.”
Glancing over at Lily as she nursed Gregory, Lindsey smiled and continued to play his guitar softly. He watched both mother and son relax as note drifted from the acoustic guitar. After the argument earlier in the day, he had successfully changed two of Greg’s diapers, cooked Lily dinner, and laughed through bathing the baby in the kitchen sink with Lily. He had not worked on mixing or overdubbing the album once since the fight.
And he was okay with that.
He felt lucky that he son was not yet three months old and Lindsey had discovered the pleasure of being a family man. He liked the sense of accomplishment he felt right then. It nearly eclipsed the feeling he had after completing an album. And to think it was only one day of doing so. He could not imagine how well he would feel after a week of taking care of his family.
His family.
“Lily?” he stopped playing.
“Yes?” her eyes met his.
Lindsey set his guitar down and moved over to join her on the sofa, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she smiled.
His hand caressed Greg’s head, bring a smile to his lips as well, “And now we have a family.”
“That we do.”
His hand dropped to grasp hers, “Lily, I want… if you want… I think we should… I mean…”
“What, Linds?”
He took a deep breath, “Marry me.”
She blinked, saying nothing.
“I know, I know. I should do this properly and get you a ring and get on one knee,” he rambled, before slipping off the couch to kneel before her. “You are my life, my love, my family. Marry me and we’ll declare it to everyone forever.”
“I…”
“Please, Lily. Please.”
Her eyes glanced down at the baby still suckling at her breast before meeting Lindsey’s eyes once more, “Yes.”
Lindsey quickly jumped up. He bent over and kissed her happily, promising to get her a proper ring the following day. Lily could not do much with the baby nursing, but she smiled, her golden eyes remaining on Lindsey as he paced about the room, apparently trying to figure out something.
He suddenly stopped and returned to her side, “I promise you that I am going to be the best husband and father ever.”
“I don’t doubt it at all. Not for a moment.”
He grinned and quickly kissed her, “Is he done yet? Can I hold him?”
Lily chuckled, easing the baby off her breast, “Burp him carefully, Linds. Like I showed you earlier.”
Rather than listen, he held the baby up in front of him, looking into Greg’s droopy eyes, “Your mommy is going to marry me!”
The baby’s only response was to spit up breast milk – all over Lindsey’s face.
Tags: "father's day" 1981
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