Title: The Only Gift
Characters: Pete, Cady, Audrey, Alec, Paul, and Simon Townshend, John and Chris Entwistle
Word Count: 4,167
Rating: R [language, inebriation, alcohol]
Warnings/Spoilers/Summary: Pete is struggling with life after Keith's death. Cady wants the best possible holiday for her family. John supports his best friends.


"The Only Gift"

I was making my list
I was checking it twice
In the middle of this 
I got tears in my eyes
For in my foolish heart
There was one simple truth
The only gift I wanted was you
I was trimming the tree
I was stringing the lights
While the radio played "Silent Night"
There were present you sent
Though there were quite a few
The only gift I wanted was you

You need to be home with me
Alone with me
Holding me next to the Christmas tree
Kissing under the mistletoe
As candles blow
Please come home soon
It's not the same without you

As the bittersweet night
Had come to an end
I was saying goodbye
To our family and friends
And they all wished me well
And I knew that I knew
The only gift I wanted was you

You need to be home with me
Alone with me
Holding me next to the Christmas tree
Kissing under the mistletoe
As candles blow
Please come home soon
It's not the same without you

Deck the halls with boughs of holly
(la la la la la la...)

The only gift I wanted was you
You need to be home with me
Alone with me
Holding me next to the Christmas tree
Kissing under the mistletoe
As candles blow
Please come home soon
It's not the same without you

I was making my list
I was checking it twice
In the middle of this 
I got tears in my eyes
For in my wishful heart
There was one simple truth
The only gift I wanted was you






December 1978

It had been months since Keith’s death and Cady felt like she was losing her husband as well. Losing the drummer had been hard on everyone, in and outside the band, but Pete… seemed to be taking it worse than the everyone else. His drinking had increased, as had his irritability. Their fighting had doubled, perhaps even tripled. Pete rarely stayed home any more, per a directive from Cady that if he was drinking, he was to stay away from the kids.

Cady hated it.

Her children deserved to have a father. And hell, she deserved to have her husband. However, she was not about to compromise on the issue. If Pete was going to drink, he was not going to be around the children. Plain and simple. This very fact was increasingly difficult to explain to the children, especially the closer they got to Christmas. Something needed to be done.

“Cady? Love, are you home?” a voice echoed down the hallway.

Setting down the paintbrush that was not colored with any pigment at all, Cady left her easel and leaned out of her studio door, “John?”

“‘Ello,” he grinned and kissed her cheek. “Working on something new?”

“Yes… no. I pretty much just hide in here to think without the children asking me questions.”

He frowned, “No Pete this week?”

“Not since Sunday. But it’s only Wednesday…”

“I’m sure he’ll be home for supper.”

Cady met his eyes and shook her head, “I’m sure he won’t be.”

“Oh… well, perhaps Chris and I could join the three of you tonight?”

“Marlene?”

He shook his head, “At a shoot in Paris.”

“Ah… well I guess I better go figure out something else for dinner then. We were just going to have leftovers,” she stated, stepping fully out of the studio and closing the door behind her. “Is Chris already here?”

“Yeah,” John fell in step with her. “He’s with the other two and Esme.”

“Ah okay,” she nodded. “So what should we have for dinner?”

He reached for her, stopping her at the top of the stairs, “Cade, love, talk to me.”

Her eyes went to his, wavering slightly, “There isn’t anything to say. Pete’s out boozing because he cannot come to grips with Keith’s death. And I’m trying to hold together life without him around.”

John sighed, “Cade…”

“I can’t even ask you to go find him, because I don’t want him to even step foot near the children in any stage of intoxication. I just… I just don’t know what to do about Christmas.”

“What do you mean?”

“The kids are already asking what we’re going to do. We don’t have a tree or any decorations up. I just can’t celebrate it without him,” she declared softly.

“I’ll help you get a tree and put things up,” John offered.

Cady smiled slightly, “I appreciate the gesture but…”

“What?” he stepped closer, his fingertips brushing hers.

“I think I’m going to take the kids to New York.”

“I’ll come with you,” he quickly declared.

“You can’t take Chris and I know you don’t want to be apart from him for the holidays. And there’s Marlene. And your mum. It’s okay, John. The kids and I can have a perfectly splendid Christmas alone in New York,” she claimed.

“And Pete?”

“He can figure out Christmas on his own.”

John sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, “Well if this is what you want, I won’t stop you, Cade.”

“Thanks.”

“But you’ll have to explain it to Chris.”

She nodded and turned back to the stairs, her fingers naturally breaking free from John’s. He trailed down the stairs after her. They casually chatted in the kitchen as she browsed, trying to figure out what to make for dinner. After minimal teasing from her best friend, Cady relented to allowing him to go out and pick up food. He kissed her cheek before leaving; letting Cady interrupt the children’s play in the living room.

“Hey, guys,” she sat on the couch, her soft voice drawing all three’s attention.

Chris immediately dropped the toy and hurried over to her, “Hi!”

The six year old sat next to her on the sofa and hugged her tightly. Cady smiled and returned the embrace, kissing the top of his head. He muttered how much he missed her, though it had been only two days since he was over, trying to get her to promise to never go away. She chuckled and kissed the top of his head again.

“I will always come back to you, Chris, but sometimes I have to go places that I can’t take you.”

“Why?”

“Because your mother says.”

“Why?”

“Because she likes to spend time with you too,” she declared, though she did not believe her own words at all.

“That’s not true. She said she’d give me to you.”

“Excuse me?”

“When I was at her house last weekend, she said if you wanted me, you could have me. Do you want me?” his big blue eyes looked up at her.

Without a second thought, Cady pulled the young boy into her lap, “Of course, I do, Chris. But it’s not that simple, buddy.”

“Why?”

“It just isn’t, sweetheart,” she brushed his hair across his forehead and kissed it. “We’ll figure something out. I promise.”



Setting down the vodka bottle, Pete took a step back from the crooked Christmas tree and squinted. All the lights were strung with care but something was not quite right with the tree. He could not process what it was. Shrugging, he grabbed his bottle, took another swig, and turned to find the ornaments. He stumbled about with the box of ornaments, managing to get about half of them on the tree before dropping the box and shattering the rest. Staring down at the broken box at his feet for a few long moments, Pete began to cry. Cady was going to kill him for breaking the ornaments. She would never forgive his clumsiness. He had failed her in decorating the tree, just as he had failed saving Keith from… himself.

Wobbling through the glass shards, crunching them into the carpet, Pete headed into the kitchen to find a broom and dustpan to clean up his mess. Once he reached that room, everything halted immediately. His eyes instantly went to the crumpled paper on the counter where he left it two hours ago. When he arrived home, sober, three hours earlier, Pete discovered a brief letter from Cady, explaining that she had taken the kids to spend Christmas in New York since he was never home. Briefly inspired to make their house a home once more and bring Cady back, Pete hurried out and found a Christmas tree. However, on that brief foray out into the public also included a stop at the liquor store, which led directly to his current predicament: drunk and unable to bring back his wife and children for the holidays.

Hearing the notes from “Silent Night” from the radio in the other room, Pete screamed and grabbed the nearest object, hurling it across the room. He paid no attention as the small saucepan slammed into the refrigerator. Instead, he ignored his task and went to find his bottle of vodka. Stopping at the end of the counter, he decided that drinking away his sorrows was not working. He needed something else, something stronger.

Turning on his heels, Pete headed to his studio. He fumbled some with the doorknob, panicking at the thought it could be locked. Managing to get it open, he stumbled in and looked around, unfamiliar with the space. Realizing he needed light, Pete’s fingers fumbled for the light switch. Keeping one hand on the wall, he made his way to the back of the studio. Once there, he looked around quickly before pulling out his stash. Flipping open the false book, his blue eyes looked down at the contents. He quickly decided against smoking any of the already-rolled joints in the box and moved to something harder.

After cutting two lines and snorting them, Pete pushed his stash away but did not conceal it. He sat on the floor for a few minutes, waiting for the drug to combat his drunkenness. Once his blood coursed with euphoria, Pete got back to his feet. His eyes glanced over his studio. Normally a drinking and drugging-induced mood could lead to some beautiful music. But not that day. His thoughts, heart, and soul were still spiraling around the fact his wife and children were gone.

He needed to clean up the living room for when they returned.

Because he was certain Cady was just kidding and would be home that evening. He needed everything to be ready for her. Therefore, he weaved out of the studio, leaving the door uncharacteristically open, and headed back to the living room. Stopping in the archway, Pete looked over his handiwork. He thought Cady would be pleasantly surprised that he had decorated the tree. It would be beautiful, once he cleaned up the glass. There could not be glass under the tree around the children. He would have to clean that up immediately.

His eyes landed on the half-empty bottle of vodka. Despite his brain’s protests, Pete headed directly to it, picked it up, and lifted it to his lips. He would clean up the glass after he finished the bottle… maybe.



Stepping into the Townshend house, John paused. There was someone in the house. He was only there to pick up Alec’s favorite teddy bear that got lost in the packing, before heading to New York with his son as well. It had been some time since Cady and Pete had to deal with unfavorable people, but did Pete have a stalker no one knew about because he was never around? Or had someone just randomly broken into the house?

On edge, he picked up a heavy vase near the entrance, though he knew Cady would kill him for breaking it. Keeping his footsteps as silent as possible, he headed down the hallway, towards the back of the house where the sounds of life emanated. Stopping in the archway to the living room, his eyebrows knitted. A Christmas tree had been covered with lights and haphazard ornaments. It certainly had not been there two day ago when he picked up Cady and the kids for the airport. Who would break into a house and erect a tree?

Shattering glass in the kitchen drew his immediate attention. Cautiously heading into the kitchen, he lowered the vase and shook his head. John set his weapon down and moved over to the drunk on the floor, his boots crunching the glass as he approached him.

“Dammit, Pete,” he hoisted his mate up to his feet, “you smell like a bloody still.”

“Joooooooooooohn?” he muttered.

“Come on, mate. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“Caaaaaady?”

“No, Pete. She isn’t here.”

“Fuuuuuuu…”

“I know,” he looped the guitarist’s arm around his neck. “Goddamn, Pete. I don’t really have time for this.”

With considerable struggle, John practically carried Pete to the guest suite on the main floor. He stripped the guitarist and pushed him into a cold shower before gathering up the booze-soaked clothes and heading to the laundry room. Part of him wished someone else were around to take care of Pete. He had a plane to catch. While he knew Cady would understand the delay, his six-year-old son would not. John considered calling Noreen, but she was paid to take care of the children, not Pete. Besides, the nanny was on her yearly holiday wherever that was. Pete’s mom was no good, as she was usually half-drunk herself. Maybe he could get one of Pete’s brothers to come over; they did not tend to drink as much.

Heading back to the guest suite, John paused and rang up Paul and Simon. Both agreed to come over and take care of their brother, something that honestly surprised John slightly. He hung up the phone and continued in to check on his best mate. Pete was slumped against the tile, the water running down his back. Shaking his head, John pulled open the shower door, turned the water off, and pulled Pete from the shower. Haphazardly drying him, he assisted Pete to the bed, making certain the man remained on his side.

“She…sh-she left m-me…” Pete muttered.

“No, mate, she didn’t.”

“Then where is sh-she?”

John sighed, “You read her letter, Pete. She and the children are in New York.”

“Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?”

“The children deserve a wonderful Christmas. And you cannot provide that when you’re drinking. So Cady took them to New York.”

“Whyyyyyyyy?”

John shook his head, “Because your wife knew you would come home sloshed and your children do not deserve to see that. Ever. She’s doing what is best for you and the children.”

“Buuuuuuuuuuuut…”

“Oh shut the fuck up and go to sleep. Your brother will be here to take care of you soon. I have to go,” he turned and headed to the door.

Pete mumbled something unintelligible. While John normally would have stopped and talked more with his mate about everything, he really did need to go. So he stepped out of the guest room and hurried up to Alec’s room. Finding the teddy bear on the floor near the bed, John scooped it up, sighed, and headed back downstairs. Pausing to check on Pete once more, he shook his head, frowning. As he reached for the front door a minute later, Paul knocked. He let the boys in, thanked them for their help, told them where Pete was, and asked them to check for any damage in the house After shaking their hands, John headed out to his car to go pick up his son from Alison. They would make the flight to New York – barely.



Stepping out of the cab in front of the building, Cady reminded the children they had packages in the trunk to take up to the flat. Dutifully, the young children filled their arms with bags filled with Christmas decorations while Cady gathered the few food bags after tipping the driver. She balanced bags as the family made their way up to the front door of the building. Instructing Audrey to pull her keys out of her purse before she dropped the eggs, she froze when a much older and much more masculine hand snaked around her and reached into her purse. Her blue eyes followed the arm up and she instantly grinned.

“John!” she exclaimed.

“‘Ello, Cade,” he grinned, slipping her keys out of her purse. 

He quickly unlocked the door and slipped some of the bags from her arms. His son held open the door for everyone to get inside before running down the hallway to the elevator. The two other children hurried as much as they could with their bags to join their pseudo-brother as he pushed the lift’s button. Both adults smiled at the children’s actions.

“I’m glad you were able to convince Alison to let you bring him – and that you chose to join us,” Cady commented softly as they stepped into the elevator.

“Of course I’m here. Someone forgot his teddy bear,” he winked at her.

“You brought it? Oh thank god. He’s had to sleep in bed with me the past two nights,” she whispered, chuckling a moment later when the children hurried out the elevator to the front door of the penthouse flat.

“That’s what godfathers are for,” John proclaimed before unlocking the apartment and letting everyone in.

“I WANT TO DECORATE THE TREE!” Alec exclaimed.

“We don’t have a tree, dummy,” Audrey declared, slugging her brother in his shoulder.

“Children,” Cady warned as she pulled groceries out of bags, “Santa is still watching.”

“Besides, I’m here now. So we can go and pick out a tree after supper,” John suggested, stepping around Cady to put the eggs in the refrigerator.

“Really?” all three kids piped up, a mess of decorations spread out around them in a halo.

Both adults looked at them and started to laugh. Shaking her head, Cady finished putting away the groceries while John instructed the children to at least organize the mess while he retrieved his and Chris’s luggage from the mailroom downstairs. Receiving assistance from Cady, the children quickly sorted out the decorations. Once returned to the flat, John put on a Christmas record and the five set to decorating the apartment for the holiday. They supped after that task before bundling up and heading out in the New York cold in search of the perfect Christmas tree.

“Pete was home when I stopped by for the bear,” John declared as he sat next to Cady with a beer in hand.

She shifted on the sofa to face him, “Oh.”

“He misses you, Cade.”

“Yeah, of course he does.”

“He is punishing himself enough. Give him a break, Cady.”

She sighed, “I have given him all the breaks in the world. I only ask one thing of him and that’s being sober around the kids. That’s it. I don’t think that’s too much to ask at all.”

“Spend Christmas with him, Cade.”

“John, Pete knows that he is welcome to join us here if he sobers up. Those are the conditions. Period. I am not budging on them. I want my husband to be here as much as the kids do, as much as you do. But if he’s going to be here, he needs to really be here,” she declared.

“I understand but…”

“John, my decision is final. Pete can join us here when he’s sober. Period.”


Squatted in front of Chris, Cady made a face at him before zipping up his winter coat. The young boy instantly erupted into giggles and embraced her. John stood nearby, watching her interact with his son. Though he did feel bad that Pete was absent, he could not argue against her reasoning. He knew she was protecting Pete as much as she was protecting their children. She loved so deeply and shared it with everyone. He admired it. And was grateful she included him and his son in her life.

“Looks like we’re all ready to go see Santa,” Cady got to her feet.

“Nuh uh!” Alec exclaimed.

She glanced to her son, “No? Why not?”

“You don’t have your boots on yet, Mum!” he pointed at her sock-covered feet.

“Oh no! How could I forget such a thing!?”

“I’ll get them!” he proclaimed and ran down the hallway to the master suite.

Once Cady’s boots were on her feet, with the assistance of both of the boys, the five headed out of the flat and down to the waiting car. Before making it to the vehicle, the boys started a snowball fight. The two adults stood nearby, watching the three children chase each other around in the snow. It continued for a few minutes until they all simultaneously decided John was now their target. Each hit him with a snowball before the fight abruptly ended with him bending over to scoop up snow. Three pairs of blue eyes went wide and they all scrambled to hide behind Cady. She merely opened the car door and stepped aside, motioning the three in. John stood back up, no snow in hands, and climbed in with them.

“How is Santa going to know we’re here instead of London?” Alec asked while the adults got situated in the back of the car.

“We’re going to go see him, dummy,” Audrey rolled her eyes.

“Audrey,” Cady warned.

“Oh,” Alec responded. “So that’s why we got stockings?”

“Of course, sweetie,” Cady said. “Even if we weren’t going to see him today, Santa would know. He’s magical, remember?”

Alec looked to John, “Is that true?”

“Of course it is,” he nodded. “He’ll use his magic to get back to the North Pole tonight so he can use the reindeer to fly out tomorrow night.”

“Can I have a reindeer, Dad?” Chris asked.

John considered it for a moment, “We’ll discuss it when we get home.”

“Yes!” he grinned.

Cady just shook her head and leaned over to John, “You better not tell him yes.”

“Baby, I’m a rock star. I’m allowed to have eccentric pets,” he responded with a smirk.



Grinning as Audrey hugged her for her Christmas gifts, Cady glanced around at the war zone the living room had become. Everyone seemed happy with the morning’s events and the gifts unwrapped. Despite Pete’s absence, it seemed to be a good holiday. Flying to New York to get away from the negativity had been the right choice.

Kissing her daughter, Cady got to her feet and headed into kitchen to prepare breakfast. As she stepped onto the tiled floor, a knock sounded at the front door. Tying her robe closed over her PJs, Cady headed to answer the knock, completely confused as to who it could be. Her fingers quickly unlocked the deadbolt and turned the doorknob. As she opened the door, her eyes widened.

“Pete?” she breathed.

He reached out tentatively for her, “Happy Christmas, baby.”

Without pause, she stepped forward and embraced him. Her arms circled his neck tightly and inhaled deeply. He wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, burying his face on her shoulder. They remained embraced like that for a few long minutes until Pete’s presence was noticed.

“Daddy?” Audrey’s soft voice spoke up.

Cady pulled out of Pete’s embrace and stepped backwards. Their daughter’s eyes lit up and she squealed while running towards him. He squatted and opened his arms to her, standing back up with her in his arms. His eyes flicked to Cady to make sure he could enter before stepping in with his daughter clinging to him. It was not until the door closed that the boys and John realized Pete was there. Alec jumped up and ran towards him as well, wrapping his arms around his legs.

Once the children released Pete and paused their happy babblings, Cady headed back to the kitchen for breakfast. The kids pulled him into the living room, to show him all their Christmas presents. As she scrambled eggs, Cady glanced over into the living room where the kids and Pete were. Even Chris bubbled happily to the guitarist. John had greeted Pete before heading towards Cady.

He poured a mimosa and slipped his arm circle her, offering the glass. Turning slightly, she accepted the glass, clinked with John’s and sipped it. She smiled at him and set it down, glancing into the living room. The kids had opened up their Operation game and sat on the floor with Pete, playing it.

“He came,” she breathed softly.

John grinned, “That he did.”

“I’m… I’m surprised.”

He sipped his drink, “I’m not.”

“Why?”

“He loves you. A man always goes to the woman he loves, regardless.”

She said nothing, hearing more than the words he uttered. Instead, she nodded and turned her attention back to breakfast. Smiling, he set down his glass of mimosa and moved to help her with breakfast. The family gathered around the table not much later, Pete sitting next to Cady so he could grasp her hand and kiss it.

“Cady, I’m sorry.”

She smiled crookedly at him, “We’ll talk about it later.”

He nodded and turned to breakfast, “This looks wonderful. You did this?”

“With some of John’s help.”

He glanced at his best friend, “Thanks for stepping up for me, mate.”

“Any time,” he responded, scooping a small spoonful of eggs onto Chris’s plate.

The three adults and three children happily ate breakfast, discussing their plans for the rest of Christmas day. Once ice skating was decided upon and plates were cleaned up, the children headed to play with their toys while the adults sat down with after breakfast tea. Pete’s arm slipped around her shoulders and he leaned over and kissed her temple.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such an arse,” he declared softly.

“I know that it’s been hard for you since Keith died, especially since he died in your flat, but Pete, you’re still alive and have so much going for you. Look around and see how blessed you are,” she responded in the same soft tone. “I’m just glad that you’re here now, really here.”

He squeezed her slightly, “I get it, Cady. I really do. I got it when I came home and you were all gone. I owe more to you, more to the kids.”

“Pete…”

“I love you, Cady. Being here with you is all the gift that I need this Christmas. I’m not going to lose sight of that,” he declared.

She glanced briefly at John before kissing Pete softly, “I love you too, Pete. We’ll work on all these issues in the new year. For now, let’s just enjoy this sober holiday with our family.”

He kissed her back, “I can agree to that.”

“Happy Christmas, Pete.”

“Happy Christmas.”