Title: Angels in a Cage: Chapter Nine, Words
Rating: R [sexual frustrations, language, drug and alcohol use]

Summary: Chris and the guys have a band meeting. Alyssa grows up.





He could feel her eyes on him, drilling him with words unspoken. Rather than open his eyes and speak with her, Chris rolled onto his side, his back to his girlfriend. He knew what she wanted to ask as it was the same thing she had asked every day for the past few weeks. And he did not want to discuss it any more then, regardless of the fantastic sex they had the night before, than he had any of the other times it came up. This was probably why no one else asked their girlfriends to manage their bands. The business of the band never ended, not even when laying in bed naked in the early hours of the morning.

“Are you awake?” Susan’s soft voice punctured the hazy light of morning.

“No,” Chris replied with a sigh, turning to lie upon his back again. “Do you know what time it is?”

“Time to make a decision about—”

“No, Susan, no. We decided when you accepted the guys offer to manage Soundgarden that we wouldn’t talk business in the bedroom. Where are we right now?” he interrupted crossly.

“Fine. I’ll go make coffee and then we can talk,” she responded.

Chris reached for her, his hands sliding over her bare skin to pull her back to him, “It’s too early for that. Lay here with me awhile longer.”

“No, Chris. I have to get up and get ready for work. We can’t....”

“No? Then how come you’re fucking my hand right now?” he teased, nibbling on her ear.

“Maybe just for aaaaaa....”



Sitting in the backyard while Marilyn pulled weeds and Judith chased butterflies in the grass, Alyssa wiggled her loose tooth with her tongue while quickly reading the last few pages of her book. She had already read through most of the third grade books at her school library and was dying to go the public library. Unfortunately her daddy was working even more lately, sometimes out of town, and her mom didn’t often take her and Judith places together. Which completely explained why Alyssa was reading her book for the third time since her daddy brought it back for her on one of his trips.

Turning the last page, she paused, feeling the tension on the tooth change. Knowing that meant the tooth was about to pop out, since she had already lost a few teeth in the past two years, Alyssa set her book aside and worked more furiously at the tooth. It suddenly popped off the tiny string that connected it to her mouth and the soft flavor of iron touched her tongue. Quickly scooping the tooth out of her mouth, Alyssa jumped up and hurried over to her stepmom.

“Mom! Mom! Mom!” she shouted. “I GOT IT FINALLY!”

Pushing back to sit on her feet, Marilyn wiped her sweaty brow with the back of her hand and turned to look at Alyssa, smiling slightly, “Your tooth?”

“Uh huh!” she flattened her hand to reveal the tooth.

“Well good job, honey,” she smiled. “You better go put it in the Tooth Fairy’s box so she’ll take it away tonight.”

“Okay! Can I call Daddy?”

Marilyn considered it for a moment, “Sure. Take Judith in with you and I’ll be in once I pick up my tools. Then we can call Daddy.”

“Okay!” she spun around. “Juuuuuuuuudith! I lost another tooth! You need to come help be put it in the tooth box for the Tooth Fairy!”

Watching the seven year old lead the toddler into the house, Marilyn couldn’t help but smile. Even though Howard was away more than any of them would have liked, she and the girls were getting along quite well. Alyssa had taken to her half-sister so well that it was hard to keep them apart. After a few months of finding Judith sleeping in Alyssa’s bed instead of her own bed in her room, she had moved the toddler’s smaller bed into Alyssa’s room, moving all of Alyssa’s toys into Judith’s former room. When Judith napped, Alyssa read books or softly practiced her piano downstairs, keeping her own activities quiet and unobtrusive to the toddler’s needs. When Alyssa was at school, Judith seemed to worry more, always asking when her sister would be back, more so than even when her daddy would return. They were perfectly bonded sisters, something Marilyn hoped would last all their lives.

After gathering her gardening supplies and the girls’ toys up, Marilyn headed into the house. Unsurprisingly she found the girls waiting in the kitchen, sitting at the table with snacks in front of them. Alyssa was counting out gummy snacks, making certain they each got the same amount of each color, while Judith shoved each offered gummy into her mouth with a giggle. Shaking her head with a smile, Marilyn went to the sink to wash her hands, her eyes flicking to the answering machine. Noticing the flashing light, she presumed it was Howard and pressed the play button before reaching for the faucet. The voice that ground out from the tiny speaker sent chills down her spine.

“You fucking cunt. God will see that you and the spawn of the devil are—”

“Message deleted,” a mechanical voice declared as Marilyn quickly pressed the erase button, her eyes flicking to Alyssa.

The older girl’s eyes were wide and focused upon the answering machine, “I thought Daddy said she wouldn’t bother us any more.”

“She won’t,” Marilyn quickly responded, moving over to the girls and crouching next to Alyssa’s chair, forgetting about the dirt on her hands and touching Alyssa’s cheek reassuringly. “It was just a stupid phone call. Nothing more. She’s never going to hurt you again, Aly. Both Daddy and I will make sure of that. Okay? Don’t you worry about her. Let’s call Daddy.”

She nodded slowly, “Okay.”

Kissing Alyssa’s forehead as she stood, she quickly retrieved the phone, dialing Howard’s office number. Waiting while her replacement, as they had both decided she would remain home with the kids at least until Alyssa was in middle school and Judith in elementary, Marilyn wiped her dirty hands off on her pants, picking up a napkin to wipe the dirt smudge from Alyssa’s cheek. Briefly greeting her husband she handed the phone to the older girl and retreated back to the sink to truly clean herself. Listening to Alyssa chatter happily about her lost tooth, Marilyn could almost forget the chilling message from Emilie, but not quite. She was certain it would not sit any better with Howard than it had her. Something needed to be done to keep it from happening again.



With Susan sitting in his lap, Chris looked at the rest of the band as they played back the demo they had recorded for A&M. Everyone had already agreed that A&M got points for actually sending out a real person to one of their concerts, not just relying on the hype that they were the next Led Zeppelin or whatever. But no one felt ready to sign to the big leagues just yet, especially since they had just signed to SST. Hiro seemed to be resisting the most, but that didn’t surprise Chris any more than it had that Matt brought a bowl to smoke for the band meeting. It was how they were.

“Well I think it’s good. I can’t imagine that A&M wouldn’t sign you,” Susan declared when the last track ended, the button popping up on the tape deck.

“That’s not the point of this meeting, Suze,” Chris declared, reaching around her for his beer. “The point is whether or not we even want to.”

“Well why wouldn’t you? It’s your ticket to the big times, the next step in the game. You guys have the talent and I’ve seen how the crowds have grown at your shows. People want you, people need you. Signing to A&M would be a good thing,” she argued.

“We just signed with SST,” Hiro spoke up, “and I didn’t even want to do that.”

“They’ve already fronted you the money to produce the next album,” Susan declared. “But the contract is only for one album. So head into the studios and fulfill that obligation and then move into the big leagues. Simple as that.”

The bassist shook his head, “I don’t want to sell my soul.”

“You won’t be. The band will still maintain completely control over all creative endeavors. You will not be signing a document that will allow them to dictate anything,” Susan claimed. “It won’t be any different than the SST contract.”

Hiro sighed, “I don’t want to sign with anyone. I’ve seen what happens when bands sign with big labels.”

“But, Hiro—”

“What else do we have to discuss?” Chris interrupted. “Didn’t you mention something about playing a festival, Suze?”

She glanced over her shoulder at him as he took a drink from his beer, “Yes. That’s right. Bumbershoot wants you guys to play this year.”

“What stage?” Kim asked.

“Main stage, second day,” she quickly answered. “I tentatively said okay, have to confirm in the morning.”

“Anyone opposed?” Chris asked, looking around the room.

No one spoke up.

“Great,” he grinned. “So we’ll play Bumbershoot and get in the studio for SST and thenrevisit A&M’s offer. Sound good?”

Everyone grumbled a “sure” or a “yeah,” thusly concluding the band meeting. Susan moved from Chris’s lap, excusing herself to do some other work, leaving the guys sitting around in Chris’s living room with beer and a packed bowl. They sat silently, seemingly trying to ascertain if she was going to return or not. After a few silent moments of drinking passed, Chris’s feet hit the floor with a loud thud and he reached for Matt’s bowl.

“Where’d you get it this time?” he asked, lifting the bowl after digging out his lighter.

“Olympia,” Matt responded.

“Oh fuck. It’ll be some good shit then. You better take the first hit,” he held the bowl towards the drummer.

“Nah, you take it,” he grinned. “You take it, man.”



Sitting in the living room with her father, reading her book while he read over depositions, Alyssa sighed and closed the book. Setting it on the coffee table, she sighed dramatically again, this time louder, hoping to catch his attention. When he didn’t look up, Alyssa sighed as loudly as possible and shifted on the couch. Finally Howard lowered his papers and looked at his daughter, amusement in his eyes.

“Is there something I can do for you, Alyssa?” he asked.

“Daddy,” she stated very seriously, “Becca and Stephanie were talking about sex on the playground today and—”

“Wait. Did you say sex?” Howard interrupted.

“Yes,” Alyssa sighed again, “listen to me, Daddy.”

“Okay, okay,” he replied, trying to wrap his mind around the fact his recently turned eight year old daughter was starting the sex conversation.

“Anyways, they said that sex makes babies. So Alan and I went behind the school and had sex. Am I going to have a baby now?”

Unable to stop himself, Howard’s mouth dropped open, gasping for air like a fish out of water. She surely could not have said what she did. His third grade daughter did not just say she had sex with another third grader. That was impossible. It had to be.

Setting the nearly forgotten papers in his hands aside, Howard moved from his chair to sit next to Alyssa. His hand shook slightly as he reached out for hers. Holding her tiny hand in his, he wondered how he had so massively failed her as a father for them to come to this point. His eight year old claimed she had sex. There was clearly something monumentally wrong with his parenting, perhaps he should have kept taking her to Emilie’s church, instead of only attending Marilyn’s on Easter and Christmas. He had failed his baby girl.

“Alyssa, what do you think sex is?” he finally found his voice.

“Becca said it’s where you get under the blankets without any clothes on with a boy. Stephanie said it’s wrestling without any clothes on,” she answered, her large hazel eyes focused on his.

Thinking about how close both of the girls had been, Howard almost flinched before he asked, “And what did you do with Alan, Alyssa?”

“Well he said that because we didn’t have a bed and we couldn’t take our clothes off at school it would be different,” she explained. “So he kissed me with his tongue and we laid down on the ground with him on me. And we wrestled with our clothes on for awhile. And then the school bell rang. Am I going to have a baby now, Daddy?”

He nearly sighed in relief upon hearing her explanation, “No, baby girl, you’re not. Babies are made when two... seeds come together, one from the mommy and one from the daddy.”

“Like when you mix together two colors of Play-doh?” she asked.

Howard considered that for a moment, “Yeah, kinda like that. So there’s part of the daddy and part of the mommy making the baby into its own little person.”

“How does the baby get into the mommy then?” she asked.

“Well... you know how there are girl parts and boy parts?” he asked, waiting for her to nod. “Well the boy part, which is called a penis, has to go inside the girl part, which is called a vagina, in order to get his seed to her seed, which she keeps in a special place inside her belly called a uterus.”

Alyssa seemed to consider his words carefully, trying to formulate her next question, “So is that why you have to be naked?”

“Yes.”

“Do you and Mom not get naked any more? Is that why she doesn’t have another baby inside her special place?”

Looking into his daughter’s eyes, he searched for an answer to that. He didn’t necessarily want to encourage sex, even safe, merely based upon it’s pleasure, especially at this age. But he didn’t want her to think that he and Marilyn never had sex or that the only time anyone had sex was to make a baby.

“You know how you take your vitamins in the morning?” he questioned, waiting for her nod again. “Well Mom takes special vitamins that keep her seeds hidden from Daddy’s seeds. Having a baby is a very big responsibility and Mom and Daddy think we have big enough family to love, so we take steps to make sure we don’t make another baby.”

“So sex isn’t always about making a baby?”

“You know when you spin around and around really fast and it makes you feel good?”

Alyssa giggled, “Yes, Daddy.”

“Well sometimes sex is like that, but if you’re not careful you can fall down and get hurt.”

She eyed him suspiciously, “Do you mean that making a baby can be like falling down and getting hurt?”

“Yes, precisely.”

“Then why do people do it if they can get hurt?”

“Because they love each other.”

Alyssa’s eyes did not leave his at all, “So you should only have sex with someone you love?”

“Yes.”

“Did you ever have sex with my mother?”

“Only once,” he answered honestly. “And you’re the very happy result of that.”

Alyssa smiled a bit, “It’s okay, Daddy. I don’t love her either.”

Howard chuckled a bit awkwardly, “But do you love Mom?”

“Uh huh,” she nodded quickly. “And it’s okay if you don’t make another baby. I love Judith lots.”

Reaching over, he hugged his daughter, “And she loves you too.”

“And I won’t have sex with anyone ‘till I love them, Daddy. I promise.”