Title: Love Runs Deeper: Chapter Twenty-two, Not Sleeping
Rating: NC-17 [language, sex, alcohol]

Summary: Lindsey can't get to sleep and seeks answers.  John has dinner with Lily.  Lindsey returns to the condo after an intense day at the studio.





Lying on his back, Lindsey stared at the ceiling in the darkness.  Though he thought Lily accepted his declarations of love, she pulled away from him, rolled onto her side, leaving her back to him.  He knew it was a subconscious action, but it bothered him all the same.  For over an hour, Lindsey lay there, trying to talk himself into sleeping.  Yet it was not working.  His mind kept turning over the past twenty-four hours.  From Lily’s police confessions to whatever happened with him and Stevie in the studio, it had been a difficult and dramatic day.

And it did not seem to want to leave him.

Deciding that it was not Lily’s ordeal that was keeping him awake, Lindsey carefully slipped out of the bed.  He moved to her side of the bed and kissed her forehead gently enough to not wake her and headed out of the bedroom.  His eyes glanced around the condo, relief touching his mind since sunlight now filtered into the living room.

He knew what really weighed on his mind.  Though she was probably long asleep, Lindsey did not particularly feel bad about his intentions.  He needed to know the truth and he was not going to give up until she told him.  Determination filling his soul, Lindsey turned and headed upstairs, skipping as many as three steps at a time.

Reaching the second floor, he instantly noticed that Chris’s door was open.  Lindsey paused and glanced in, noting that it was unchanged since prior to going to the studio.  Chris had not come back that night.  It would be more disconcerting if it had never happened before; so he paid it little mind and continued to Stevie’s room.  Without a thought, he turned the doorknob and pushed the door open, stepping into her darkened room.

As he closed the door behind him, Lindsey listened to the sounds of her room.  He froze with his back to her bed.  Stevie’s breathing was not soft and shallow like one who slept.  If anything, she was gasping and moaning softly.  Hearing a soft squish, he knew precisely what she was doing.  He also had no doubt that she knew he entered her room.

“Stevie,” he spoke softly.

“Mmmmm, Lindsey…” she moaned. “Come to finish what you started?”

He groaned, feeling his body react to her question, “What I started?  That means that in the studio we didn’t—”

She moaned again, “Please, Lindsey.  I need you.”

Moving towards her bed, Lindsey reached down and pulled her hand out from under the covers, “Tell me what happened in the studio.”

Pulling her hand free, Stevie propped herself up on her elbows, very aware that the covers fell and exposed her naked breasts.  With the sun risen outside, enough light filtered through the curtains to cast beams of sunlight across her flesh.  Lindsey could feel his body’s natural reaction to her nudity tenting his sleep pants.  It had been months since he had more than just masturbation to quell his libido.

Suddenly sitting up fully, the songstress reached forward and groped his growing erection.  Her brown eyes looked up into his and she expertly massaged him, causing a soft moan to leave his lips.  He protested weakly as her fingers slipped under the waistband of his soft, cotton pants and carefully pulled them down.  Stevie’s soft hands circled his cock and gently stroked him, causing him to moan and step closer to the bed.

With a smile, Stevie leaned forward and kissed the tip of his penis.  Gasping, Lindsey’s hands disappeared into her messy blonde hair.  He pulled her closer, forcing his cock deeper into her mouth.  Stevie smiled and began to suck and bob on his cock.  Closing his eyes, Lindsey enjoyed the sensations running up his spine.  It was so amazing to once more—

“Fuck,” he suddenly pushed her away.

Stevie flung back on the bed, “What?”

“We can’t do this.”

Flipping the covers off of her and exposing her entire nude body, she smiled at Lindsey, “Yes, we can.”

His eyes dropped down to her sex as her fingers briefly rubbed it before separating to expose her wet entrance.  Lindsey groaned as her other hand reached down and her fingers began to slip in and out of her.  As he watched her fingers, his own hand closed around his cock, stroking in rhythm with her.

“Lindsey,” she pulled her fingers out, sat up, and offered them to him, “I’m so wet for you.”

He groaned, his tongue circling her digits.  With a smile, Stevie wrapped her other arm around him, guiding his mouth to hers.  As his tongue circled hers, she laid back down, pulling him with her.  Her other hand left her sex, reaching to guide him into her.  Her hips arched off the bed, pulling him into her hot, wet body.

“Oh my…” he groaned, instinctively thrusting fully into her. “Steeeevie…”

She sighed happily, her hands going to his shoulders.  Their eyes locked as he began to move slowly.  He pushed up and glanced down at their connection.  He felt a momentary pang of guilt and nearly pulled out and away from her.  Stevie noticed his hesitation and flexed her muscles around him, making him groan and thrust deeply.

Wrapping her legs tightly around his waist, Stevie quickly rolled, forcing Lindsey’s back to the mattress.  She sat up, still impaled on his cock, and reached back.  With some struggle, she pulled his sleep pants and underwear fully off, tossing them on the floor.  Leaning back, her hands rested on his knees caps.  Lindsey moaned and grunted as his hands briefly touched her knees as well, before caressing up to hold onto her hips.

She rode him hard and fast, gasping and moaning with nearly every breath.  With her quick, erotic movements, Lindsey felt his impending orgasm nearing.  He grunted a warning, but Stevie merely giggled huskily and continued moving.  His hands went to her hips, holding her stationary.  He thrust quick and hard up into her, until his entire body tensed.  With a deep grunt, he shot up into her body, triggering her orgasm as well.

Stevie wiggled a few more times before pivoting off of him, gasping as she lay beside him.  Closing his eyes, Lindsey tried to calm down himself.  As his breath evened out, his mind began to take over.  Stevie turned on her side, her fingers reaching over to caress his chest.  His hand snapped around her wrist, keeping her from touching him.

“No,” he stated brusquely.

“No?” Stevie smirked. “But we just—”

His eyes met hers, “This can never happen again.  Ever.”

“That’s what you said in the studio,” she claimed.

His eyes narrowed, “What happened in the studio?”

“Does it even matter now?  You just came inside me.”

Lindsey released her hand and quickly rolled out of the bed.  Moving quickly around the room, he located his clothes and quickly stepped into them.  He glared at her again as he stepped towards the door.

“This doesn’t happen again,” his hand reached for the doorknob, “and no one can ever know about it.”

As he stepped out of her room and closed the door, Stevie growled and threw her pillow at the door.  Lindsey flinched slightly, but stepped away without pause.  That is until he noticed Chris standing outside her room.

“Linds?” her husky voice asked.

His eyes briefly flicked to the drink in her hand.  Saying nothing, he snatched it out of her grasp and quickly downed it.

“Oh no, Linds.  What have you done?” she sighed.

Lindsey hung his head, “Chris…”

“Come on, honey.  Let’s talk about this,” she motioned to her room. “Lily is still asleep downstairs.”

“Chris, I just—”

“Shhh, come on.  I’ll pour you another drink,” she headed into her bedroom.

With a sign, Lindsey followed the older woman in.  He hoped she could keep his guilt at bay — or at least make sense of what he did…



Standing in front of the stove, Lily swirled a whisk around in a small saucepan.  A small smile danced on her face as she watched the sauce bubble and thicken.  Everything smelled perfect.  Unfortunately Lindsey had gone to the studio before she woke, so she was not entirely sure how to get the midday meal to the studio.  Previously, she would have just walked, but with all things considered that was not an option.  She basically had to hope that someone came back to the condo before everything was… cold.

A knock at the door interrupted her musings.  Lily tasted her sauce before moving the pot from the burner and turning it off.  Spoon still in hand, she headed to the door as a knock sounded again.  She pressed her eye to the peephole.

With a smile, she unlocked and opened the door, “Hi, John.”

“Hey, love,” he smiled, puffing on a cigarette. “Had a break and thought I would come down and visit you.”

“Please come in,” Lily stepped to the side, allowing him passage.

“It smells amazing in here, Lil.  What are you making?” he entered, watching as she locked the door behind him.

“Chicken alfredo.  I just finished up the sauce.  Would you care for some?” she headed back to the kitchen.

“I’d love some,” he trailed behind her. “Why didn’t you come to the studio today?”

Lily glanced over her shoulder, “Everyone was gone when I got up.  And I’m not really supposed to be…”

He nodded and slipped onto a bar stool, “If you’d like, you can come back with me.”

She pulled a pair of plates from the cupboard, “Did you walk here?”

“I did,” John stubbed his cigarette out in a nearby ashtray.

“Then I’ll have to decline,” she replied, scooping up fettuccine onto the two plates.

His eyes watched her fill the two plates, “I know it’s none of my business…”

Setting a plate in front of him and the other in front of the empty seat beside him, Lily responded, “The simple answer is… there are a number of men who could very well…”

“You don’t have to tell me, Lily.”

“Yes… I do.  Because it puts you at risk.”

“Me?  Why?”

“Well you see…”

Listening to her tale between bites of the homemade pasta, John remained quiet.  He did not feel any interjections would have served anything.  And her story certainly was… unfathomable.  Never before did he think such things actually happened, though he supposed all fictional stories had to draw from fact.

“Well,” he set down his fork, “there are only two things to say, I think.”

“What?”

His hand covered hers, “No one is going to hurt you; the band will see that you’re protected.”

“And?”

“This is the bloody best pasta I have ever had in my life,” he grinned. “If Lindsey ever does a single thing to upset you, you come to me.  I won’t ever let you down.”

She touched his cheek softly and smiled, “I know, John.  You’re sweet.”

“If you’d like company, I’ll stay with you.”

Lily slid of the stool and grabbed both of their plates, “I would love that, but aren’t you needed at the studio?”

He snorted, getting up to fix drinks for the two of them, “Not likely for some time.”

“How come?” she immersed the plates in the sink.

“Lindsey and Stevie have been at it all day.”

She froze, her thoughts instantly snapping back to the kiss in the middle of the night, “I see.”

Pouring whiskey into two small glasses, he glanced over at her, “If there’s one thing anyone can say about those two it is that they are very passionate and don’t give in until they get what they want.”

“Yes, of course,” she began to pack up the remainders of the meal to store in the refrigerator.

John headed into the kitchen, waited until she closed the door, and handed her a drink, “I’m sure everyone will be down here to eat soon.  They must be working up an appetite.”

“I’m sure they are,” she accepted the drink and quickly downed the entire glass.

His eyes widened and he instantly reached out to steady her as she coughed, “Whoa, Lil.  What—”

“Can I have another?” she held her glass out to him.

“I don’t know if you should…” he responded carefully.

“Please?”

John stared at her for a moment before returning to the small bar to refill Lily’s drink.  Without her attention directly on him, he discreetly watered down the whiskey, using more water than alcohol.  If she was going to be slinging them back like they were nothing, he was going to take precautionary steps.  Turning as she sat on the sofa, John handed her glass back to her and watched with wide eyes as she once more drank it all quickly.

Though she held the glass out to him expecting him to fill it again, John set it down on the bar and moved around the couch to sit beside her, “I think that’s enough for now.”

She reached for his glass, “But—”

“No,” he held it out of her reach. “What is this all about?”

Her golden eyes went to his, holding his gaze steadily, “Lindsey is fucking Stevie.”

His eyes widened, “Excuse me?”

“Last night, he woke me in the middle of the night to lock me in the bathroom so he could kiss her,” Lily blurted out.

John struggled to not laugh at her statement, “Lil, that hardly means they’re fucking.”

“But you just said they were going at it in the studio.”

This time he did not hold back his laughter, “And by that I mean fighting.  Her voice was breaking up when I left from all the screaming she had done at him.  Of course, he deserved it because he tore pages out of her notebook and flung them around the room.  They aren’t having sex, Lily.  They don’t even like to be in the same room as each other.  Relax.”

“Are you sure?”

John patted her knee gently, “I am certain.  I have no need to lie to you, my dear.  They are not fucking.”



The front door slammed, jolting Lily to her feet.  The throw blanket tumbled out of her lap and her bleary eyes tried to focus on the new arrival.  Lindsey’s intense blue eyes met hers and he stalked towards her.  Not saying a word, he stepped over the low back of the sofa, pulled her into his arms, and kissed her passionately.  She whimpered slightly, the soft sound barely breaking through his shield to alter his thoughts.

“I love you,” he stated softly.

Her eyes searched his, “I love you too.”

He kissed her again, before realizing they stood in the living room, “Lil, were you waiting up for me?”

She nodded, “I watched television until the news came on.  So then I started reading that horrible book I found in the bookcase.  And…”

“Let’s go to bed, Lil,” he declared, before abruptly picking her up, causing her to squeal.

Not about to protest, she held onto Lindsey as he carried her into the bedroom.  He set her carefully down on the bed without bothering to turn a light on.  Kissing her nose, he pulled away and checked the locks on the windows and pulled the curtains tightly closed.  He returned to the bedroom door, closed and locked it as well.  Only then did he return to the bed and leaned down to kiss her.

She let him kiss her for a few moments before wiggling in the embrace.  Interpreting her movements differently than she intended, Lindsey nodded and pulled away.  He pivoted into a seated position and pulled off his shoes and socks.  As his hands went to his belt buckle, her hands touched his shoulders, her chin resting on his right one.

“Linds,” she breathed, “what has gotten into you?”

He glanced over his shoulder and kissed her quickly, “Nothing.  I just missed you today.”

Lily leaned back as he pulled away to remove his pants before turning to face her fully, “You could have come back down at any point, you know.  John came and ate with me.”

“I know,” he kissed her left leg. “It made me jealous.”

Her eyes watched as he kissed up her leg until he reached the hem of her shorts, “Like you have anything to be jealous of.”

He skipped up and kissed her mouth quickly, “I’m jealous of anyone who gets to spend time with you, anyone who gets to eat your amazing cooking.”

Lily smiled, “There’s leftovers in the fridge.”

He kissed her again, “Fantastic.”

His hand reached up and gently groped her breast as he grinded his hips into hers.  A soft gasp left Lily’s lips, feeling his increasing arousal press into her hip.  He kissed her aggressively, slipping his hand up under her shirt as he did so.  For a brief moment, Lily enjoyed it, feeling her body warm to his touches and kisses.  As he pressed his tented boxers against her clothed sex and pinched her nipple simultaneously, she gasped.  Fear shot through her body, instantly tempering her arousal.

“Lindsey,” she pushed against his chest. “Lindsey, stop.”

His blue eyes looked into hers.  She watched his dilated pupils, ever aware of the intense desire pooling in his blood.  He leaned down to kiss her again, but she quickly turned her face.  As his lips touched her cheek instead of her mouth, she muttered for him to stop once more, her hands pushing at his chest again.

Suddenly realizing what he was doing and how she was reacting, Lindsey gasped and rolled off of her, “Lily, I’m so so so sorry.  I don’t…  I’m sorry.”

Remaining silent and completely frozen, Lily tried to explain his actions.  He had already claimed he was jealous of John spending time with her.  Maybe that’s all it was.  There did not have to be anything else, right?

“Lily,” he turned on his side after a few deep breaths, “I’m sorry.  I don’t know what came over me.”

“I…”

“I am so very sorry, Lily.  It was an intense day at the studio and I missed you and… I’ve probably had too much to drink and am acting without thinking.  I’m so sorry.  Will you forgive me?” he asked softly.

Her eyes went to his and she meekly muttered, “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course, sweetheart.  Anything.”

“Do you still love her?”

“Who?”

Lily remained silent, merely stared at him.

“Stevie?”

She nodded once.

“No, I don’t,” he answered immediately. “I love you.”

She still remained silent.

“There are a lot of intense feelings and emotions between me and Stevie, that’s true,” Lindsey declared. “But I love you.”

“Would you fuck her if she asked?”

“What?   No.  That’s absurd.  Why would you think such a thing?”

“Because…” she looked away briefly. “Because I’m too afraid to have sex and the two of you have such a connection…”

Lindsey leaned over and kissed her sweetly, “I love you.  I made a mistake tonight, got caught up in myself.  I can and will wait for you to be ready for sex, Lily.  And I will teach you that it is nothing to fear.  But that will come when it is time, not just because you make me horny as hell.  I can and will wait.”

“Promise?”

“I will wait, Lily, for you.”