Title: Love Runs Deeper: Chapter Fourteen, Sudden Remorse 
Rating: PG-13 [mild drugs, language]

Summary: Lily comes to a realization about the studio. Lindsey and Stevie have a discussion.





Stretching Lindsey rolled onto his side, reaching for Lily. His long fingers grasped nothing but air and sheets. Eyes flashing open, he looked around in the dimly lit room. Sitting up abruptly, the sheets pooling around his waist, Lindsey rubbed his eyes and looked around once again. The door to the bathroom was open and the light off, so he knew she was not in there. The sofa was empty, the curtain still closed.

“Lily?” his morning voice cracked slightly. “Lily, baby?”

Only silence responded.

“Lily?” he pushed the blanket off his legs.

Reaching for the nearest lamp, Lindsey sighed and rubbed his eyes again. He slowly turned around, looking for any clue as to where his girlfriend was. His fingers grabbed his jeans and he quickly pulled them on. He found a joint and lit it up, inhaling deeply, and moved around the room, hoping to find a note somewhere. He found nothing.

“Lily?” he called again once he finished the joint.

Picking up the hotel room key and tucking it into his pocket, he headed out of the room, barefoot. He shifted a bit nervously as he waited for the elevator to arrive. Arriving in the lobby, he quickly crossed over to the front desk, not caring about his state of undress. The young woman looked up, her eyes widening slightly.

“Can I help you, Mr. Buckingham?”

“The young lady who is staying with me, Lily Walker, have you seen her today?”

She stared at him blankly.

“Have you seen my girlfriend?”

She still did not speak.

“Can I talk to your manager?”

A young man in a suit stepped up to the desk, “Can I help you, sir?”

“My girlfriend was not in the room when I woke up. I’m trying to locate her.”

“What is your girlfriend’s name?”

“Lily Walker.”

His eyes dropped to the counter, looking for some sort of note. Lindsey sighed, glancing around the lobby. He heard the two desk agents converse, but ignored them.

“Ah, yes, Mr. Buckingham, a car was called for Miss Walker two hours ago,” the man spoke up.

“Do you know where she went?”

“She mentioned something about going to a nursing home,” the young woman spoke up.

Instantly knowing what the girl meant, he nodded, “Did she give any indication when she would return?”

“No…”

“Okay, thank you. Have the same breakfast I had yesterday sent to my room.”

“Yes, Mr. Buckingham.”

Returning to his hotel suite, Lindsey picked up his guitar and sat down. He softly plucked out a song he had been working on in the studio the night before, though his heart and mind was not really into it. Part of him was worried Lily left without telling him, but the greater part was worried she was visiting her mother. He did not think it was a stretch to assume that was emotionally difficult for her. Yet he did not think it right to get in his car and hurry out there. If she wanted him along, she would have woken him and asked. Therefore, he would focus on his music and try to not worry – as long as possible.



Leaving the bank, Lily sighed and climbed into the car. After instructing the driver to return her to the hotel, she flipped through her legal pad. Many of the issues she had could be corrected, if she had control over the band’s bank accounts. She knew that was unlikely to happen. Lindsey would give her control if he could, but with the band’s future held in Mick’s hands, she had no idea how things would play out. She would do what she could under the circumstances, but if she could not get Mick to talk to her, it would not matter.

Setting the legal pad on top of her folders, Lily’s golden eyes focused out the window. The visit with her mother had gone completely as expected. The older woman was completely unresponsive, though Lily sat with her and talked for over an hour. Only once had she looked at her daughter, shouted something unintelligible, and slapped her across the face. Wide-eyed, Lily had no idea what to do. A moment later, her mother lay down in her bed, turning her back to her, and ignored the girl with the red cheek. Remaining silent for a few minutes, Lily picked back up with her story, though chose to depart once it was complete. Visiting her mother was always difficult.

Lily attempted to push the negative thoughts from her mind but it was difficult. While her mother had not been loving prior to the accident, after all she had practically been a child herself when Lily was born; she had never physically attacked her before. That was usually something her grandfather did. Prior to Lindsey, she would have just swallowed away the emotion and buried it with all the others. Now that she felt like she knew what a positive life could be, it was harder to stomach that which she lived.

Again, she attempted to push it aside. She needed to have a smile on her face when she returned to Lindsey, providing that he remained at the hotel. At that thought, she considered that he could have left. It worried her some, as she really wanted to see him, to be with him right then, but there was nothing she could do except hope.

Arriving at the hotel, she paid her driver for the day, thanking and tipping him profusely. With papers and folders in her arms, Lily headed into the hotel. She smiled at the front desk, but did not stop until she reached the elevator. Shifting her things, she managed to press the button without dropping anything. Her eyes widened as the doors opened and there stood her former boss and Elizabeth. The lawyer was fixing his tie, his fashionable clothing not entirely perfect.

Her former co-worker instantly grinned upon seeing Lily, “Well, well, well. Looks like someone must have found herself a sugar daddy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in anything I didn’t donate to the thrift store the season before.”

“Excuse me,” she muttered, attempting to step into the elevator.

The lawyer blocked her entrance, “I still have my room. A thousand dollars for a taste of what you’re giving him?”

Lily glared at him, “Get out of my way.”

“Aw, come on, Lil,” he reached out and groped her breast. “I know you have debts all over this bay. A little bit of playtime will alleviate some of them.”

“Get your hand off of me,” she hissed and stepped back. “Stay away from me.”

“Now, now, Lily. We just want to play,” Elizabeth stepped behind her, attempting to block her escape.

Taking one look at the other woman, she scoffed and pushed beyond her. Where her sudden burst of courage emanated, she did not know, but it did not matter. Lily hurried over to the front desk, set down her stack of papers, and asked the girl to ring Lindsey. With her boyfriend on his way down, Lily remained at the desk, her skin crawling as the sordid couple passed behind her.

Lindsey arrived a couple of minutes later, “Lil?”

She handed him the stack of papers, remaining silent. Lindsey instantly read that something was wrong, kissed her temple, and wrapped one arm around her. The couple returned to the elevator and subsequently the hotel room. He said nothing as he set the papers down, waiting for Lily to bring up whatever bothered her. Instead, she headed directly into the bathroom. His worry skyrocketed when she did not close the door and instantly knelt in front of the toilet. Grabbing a glass, Lindsey filled it with water in the bathroom, standing nearby to wait out her retching.

“Lily?” he slowly approached her as she leaned back from the toilet.

Her hands covered her face and she began to cry, her body trembling with her sobs. Lindsey knelt beside her, setting the glass on the tiled floor. His arms slipped around her and she instantly leaned into his embrace. He softly whispered to her, hoping to calm her as he did so.

“Lily, what’s wrong?”

Pulling back, her mascara-streaked face turned to his. Hardly taking a breath, she quickly recounted everything she did that day, from her mother slapping her to the incident in the elevator lobby. He could not process all of her quick words, but could tell she was greatly shaken. Without pause, Lindsey pulled her close again, kissing her forehead. She began to cry again, but it did not last long.

Something from her recounting of the altercation in the lobby, struck him, “Lily, what did he mean that you have debts all over the Bay Area?”

She quickly pulled away from him, scrambling backwards until her back touched the wall, “Nothing.”

“Lily, you can tell me.”

“I have nothing to tell you.”

He stared at her for a minute, “I don’t believe that. What does this lawyer asshole know that I don’t?”

“Nothing. Nothing, he was just trying to get me worked up,” she declared, pulling her knees to her chest.

“Lily,” he warned.

“Okay… okay…”

He waited, remaining silent.

“I owe people money all over the Bay.”

“But why? Who?”

“Random people. Dealers. Shop owners. Just people,” she admitted softly.

“I see.”

“Don’t worry about it. No one is going to know about it. And with the salary you’re paying me, I should get my debts settled by… well soon,” Lily claimed.

“Lily, why do you owe these people money?”

“Because,” she responded evasively.

“Lily,” he warned again.

“I’ve been taking care of my mom for years. There really has not been anyone around like you to just sweep in and pay off her bills. And sometimes I couldn’t even… you saw my apartment. That was an upgrade from the last one,” she quickly explained. “So I owe people money.”

“Okay… but dealers?”

She looked away, noticed the toilet, and quickly moved to flush it, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

He sighed, “But soon?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

Lindsey reached out and touched her knee, “You don’t need to worry, Lil. I won’t think of you any differently.”

Her golden eyes went to his and she snorted, “Ha, you already do.”

“No, baby, I don’t. I’m concerned, yes. I want to take care of you, of course. But I don’t think of you any differently. Those emotions already existed before,” he claimed.

“You need to go to the studio.”

“Not yet. We should go to dinner.”

“I don’t want to eat.”

“Baby…”

“I don’t,” she quickly got up and left the bathroom.

Sighing, Lindsey stood up. He picked up the untouched glass of water and emptied it into the sink. Leaving the glass on the counter, he headed out of the bathroom. He instantly frowned, seeing Lily had quickly shed her clothes and crawled into the bed, covers pulled over her head. Resisting the urge to slip in with her, Lindsey picked up the phone and ordered room service, hoping that smelling food would seduce her to eat. He also phoned the studio and informed Mick that he would not be in until late, if at all. He needed to take care of Lily first; music would come second that night.



Waking curled around Lily, Lindsey carefully rolled away and stretched. His blue eyes glanced at the clock. Making certain she still slept, he slipped out of the bed and into the bathroom. Though he did not want to leave her side, he knew he was needed in the studio as well. Surely, there could be no harm in heading there for a couple of hours while she slept. He would be back in time to take her to breakfast. He was sure of it.

He quickly dressed, shoved a room key into his pocket, and grabbed his car keys. Feeling sudden remorse about leaving her without saying anything, Lindsey quickly scratched a note on hotel stationary in case she woke while he was gone. One final glance in her direction and he ducked out of the hotel room.

He smoked two cigarettes and one joint on the short drive over, trying to push away his worrying over the fact he left his girlfriend in the hotel sleeping. As soon as he arrived at the studio and stepped inside, his attentions focused elsewhere. He could feel that the very air of the night was charged with great things. It had been a very good decision to sneak out to the studio.

A beer and a half later, Lindsey sat in one of the mixing rooms with Chris. They stopped playing for a minute. She lit up a cigarette; he fiddled with his guitar’s tuning. Writing with Chris was exhilarating. It was unlike writing with Stevie, who needed so much production and added layers to her songs to take them to the next level. But with Chris… it was completely different. She seemed to live and breathe her music a bit more than Stevie. Moreover, they played very well together. It was a balanced partnership, not like whatever he and Stevie had.

“Lindsey,” she waved her hand in front of his face. “You okay?”

He shook his head and smiled crookedly, “Fine, fine. You want to play it again?”

“Sure, love,” she returned to her piano bench, took a drink from her glass, and rested her fingers on the white keys.

As the two played together, Stevie slipped into the room, clutching a sheet of paper. She watched as her former lover played so seamlessly with the other woman. She would be lying if she claimed to not feel a bit jealous while she watched. Lindsey was not supposed to even be there; at least that was what Mick had said. Something about needing to take care of his new girlfriend. Yet there he was; playing with Chris. However, she would not let it show that it bothered her. Not in the least.

Once they finished playing and Chris scribbled notes on a sheet of paper, Stevie stepped forward, “Hey, Linds, I have this song–”

“Not now, Stevie,” Lindsey interrupted, getting up to move closer to the piano.

“But–”

“Not now,” he repeated, glaring at her. “I’m busy.”

Stevie’s lips parted slightly and she downcast her eyes, “When you have the chance then…”

The songstress turned and left the room in a swirl of lace and chiffon. Lindsey ignored her dramatic exit and quickly played Chris’s melody on the piano.

“You don’t have to be mean to her, Lindsey,” Chris spoke up, ignoring his playing.

“What are you talking about?” his eyes went to the older woman’s.

“You don’t need to be mean to Stevie.”

“Coming from someone who won’t even stay in the room as her husband, I don’t think you have much to say on this.”

Chris sighed and lit another cigarette, “If you’re both going to be in the band, you both have to be in the band.”

“I don’t know what you mean by that. Let’s just finish this song so I can get back to Lily.”

She lifted her eyebrows, “It sounds to me like someone doesn’t know you’re here.”

“I left while she was asleep.”

“You snuck out?”

“No. Not at all. There was no sneaking involved,” he lied.

“Don’t be a fool, Linds. Lily is a good girl.”

“More than you know.”

She sighed, hearing more in his words than he was actually saying, “It’s nearly seven in the morning. Go home, Lindsey.”

“But this song–”

“Will wait. Go back to her.”

“But–”

“Just go, Lindsey.”

“I… okay. I’ll see you tonight,” he declared, hanging the guitar up on a hook.

Without stopping to say goodnight to everyone, Lindsey headed out of the studio. He felt accomplished, even though he wished he could stay a bit longer and finish that bit of the song with Chris. The rest of the band drifted back to wherever they were staying to fall in beds for a few hours. Part of him wished to be at the compound, able to access the studio whenever he pleased. He would not force Lily into his life; that was unfair. Therefore, at the hotel they would stay – at least for now.

Smoking another cigarette or two on his drive back to the hotel; Lindsey began to get nervous that Lily woke while he was absent. Deciding to hedge his bets, he stopped for pastries and a bouquet of flowers. He picked up fruit and coffee from the hotel restaurant before heading up with his early morning gifts. With some struggle, he got the door open without much noise and set everything down.

Silently, Lindsey headed across the hotel room. He crawled onto the bed and lay down, snuggling against Lily with the covers between them. She groaned softly and turned to face him.

“You stink.”

Lindsey smirked, “Sorry.”

“You went to the studio, didn’t you?”

“You were asleep so…”

“It’s okay, Lindsey. I understand.”

He leaned down and kissed her softly, “I brought back breakfast.”

“Oh?”

“Mmmmhmmmm,” he kissed her again.

“Then get off me so we can eat,” she responded with a smirk.

“Hmmmm,” he kissed her once more. “Maybe I don’t want to.”

Lily’s hands went to his chest and she pushed him away slightly, “Go brush your teeth if you’re going to keep kissing me.”

“Okay, okay,” he smiled and stole another kiss. “You’re so beautiful in the morning.”

“Go brush your teeth,” she repeated.

With another smirk and a stolen kiss, he hurried to the bathroom. Lily stretched like a cat and rolled out of the bed. She rubbed her eyes and reached for the lamp. Turning towards the breakfast table, her eyes zeroed in on the flowers. A bright smile lit her face. The moment Lindsey stepped out of the bathroom, she ran towards him, jumping into his arms. Giggling she kissed him happily.

“Flowers?”

Lily nodded, “Flowers.”