Chapter Thirty-nine, Heartstrings of Hope
Posted by DiF on Monday, May 28, 2018
Title: Angels in a Cage: Chapter Thirty-nine, Heartstrings of Hope
Rating: R [alcohol, drugs]
Summary: Alyssa is struggling with life while Chris is on tour, but nearly as much as he is. At least she has David by her side.
It had been two weeks, three days, and nine minutes she last kissed Chris. And she was going crazy. Sure, they spoke on the phone daily, at least whenever she was not in school. And yes, David was trying to keep her distracted with other things. But she found it difficult to concentrate in class, to keep up with conversations with her sister, to pay attention to her parents’ questions. Whenever she would snap out of her trance, even if for only a couple of minutes, she would feel bad that she was missing life.
“Stupid girl,” she muttered to herself, re-reading her history chapter yet again.
“You are beyond just a stupid girl,” a familiar voice interrupted her studying. “You’re a lovesick little puppy, who clearly need someone to come fuck you so that—”
“Who let you in here?” she asked, glaring and smiling at the same time.
David plopped down on her bed, “Your family loves me. You know that.”
“Not enough to allow us to close the door,” her eyes flicked to the bedroom door.
With a smirk, David closed it with his foot, “What now?”
Alyssa shook her head, “Are you trying to get me grounded?
“Yes,” he stated seriously. “Life is so much more fun when I get to catch you after you sneak out of your window.”
“You really think I would sneak out to hang out with you if you were the reason I was grounded?”
David remained silent for half a second, “Uh yeah. You have before.”
Alyssa stared at him, silently blinking.
“Anyways, I think you should ask Pearl Jam to play at your birthday party.”
She rolled her eyes, “Um no.”
“Come on! How cool would that be?”
“Not at all,” she retorted. “Besides, you’re planning the party, not me. That means I don’t have to do anything for it.”
Before he could respond, her bedroom door opened, “Mom told me to come and get you guys for dinner. And David, make sure you wash your hands really good.”
“Huh?”
Judith shrugged, “I don’t know. That’s just what she said.”
The teenagers followed the young girl downstairs, stopping to wash their hands in the powder room. David slid into the chair next to Alyssa, grinning and winking at Marilyn. She merely shook her head before sitting herself. Alyssa’s father joined the table a few minutes later.
“So, I understand that you are throwing a party for Alyssa’s birthday,” Howard declared.
“Yep, strippers and everything,” David nodded between bites.
“What’s a stripper?” Judith asked.
“Someone who removes the finish from furniture,” Marilyn interjected before David could offer an explanation.
“That’s a weird party. I’d have a Friends party,” the younger girl declared. “Or maybe X-Files since you’re so weird.”
“Your parents are okay with hosting this party?” Howard questioned.
“Actually, it’s going to be—”
Alyssa discreetly elbowed him.
“—a really great party and they’re happy to host, of course,” David answered.
“Make sure you get with me before you leave tonight, David,” Howard declared. “I have some money to give you so that my daughter’s sweet sixteen is the most memorable of birthdays.”
He smiled wryly, “Thanks, Pops.”
Alyssa’s father arched his brows but shook his head and said nothing. Judith instantly launched into a story about something from school. Dinner progressed normally, leaving the teenagers to clean the table and do the dishes.
Once alone in the kitchen, David hip bumped Alyssa, “You should still invite them to play.”
“They’re on tour too,” she pointed out.
“Oh… yeah,” he frowned. “Well I’ll figure something out.”
“I’m sure you will.”
“Let’s go you-know-where when we’re done here,” David suggested.
Alyssa glanced over at her best friend, “What for? There’s nothing there that there isn’t here.”
“True… but your parents aren’t there. So, if we’re going to fool around, I’d rather not have an audience.”
She rolled her eyes, “That’s not happening.”
“Then let’s like go like to like the like mall.”
She rolled her eyes again, “Let’s not.”
“Then what are we going to do?”
Alyssa shrugged, “I just beat Resident Evil the other day. I read that there’s different endings, so we could—”
David interrupted with an exaggerated yawn, “Boring.”
“Well then you suggest something,” she closed the dishwasher.
“I already did.”
“That doesn’t include you cumming in your pants,” Alyssa stated, turning to leave the kitchen.
“And how do you know I’ll do that?”
She stopped, faced him and said quietly, “Because you’re not getting that anywhere near me.”
An hour later, they lay on the wet grass on the middle of Discovery Park. Neither were talking, just staring up at the clouds covering the stars above them. The acrid scent of marijuana blended well with the wet mossy scent of the park. Though Alyssa had not wanted to leave home and miss Chris’s call, she was glad she was just doing nothing with David. He had a way of quieting her mind that she could not explain. Plus, the joint had settled her stomach which had been acting up since dinner.
She was content.
“Well, fuck,” David muttered, turning on his side to face Alyssa.
“What?” she glanced at him.
“I don’t know what to do for your party without Pearl Jam.”
She smiled slightly and shook her head, “I’m sure just having everyone over will be enough.”
“Your dad did give me enough money that we can get some really good shit,” he grinned.
“I’m sure that’s exactly what he meant by making my birthday awesome.”
“Uh, duh,” David retorted.
Alyssa rolled her eyes and turned her attention to the clouds above again, “Do you think he misses me?”
“Of course, he does. I miss you every fucking day and I see you all the time.”
She weakly slapped his chest, “No, be serious.”
“I am serious. I could spend every day with you and still not have enough of you.”
Her eyes snapped to his, “David, you cannot…”
He grinned, “KIDDING. Jesus. Fucking Chris Cornell sure has given you a complex. You think you’re better than me because you’ve had some famous dick? Well guess what?”
“I did not say that,” Alyssa claimed.
David merely broke into fits of laughter. Even though she did not know what was funny, Alyssa soon started to laugh as well. The two teens laughed until they could no longer breathe. With a few deep breaths, they calmed, focusing on the clouds again.
“That one looks like a penis,” David pointed.
“Not any penis I’ve seen,” Alyssa snickered.
“Oh yeah,” David reached for his belt.
“Oh stop,” Alyssa slapped his chest again. “Let’s go get ice cream. And Cheetos.”
He considered it for a moment before jumping to his feet and offering his hand, “And some Dick’s.”
“Obviously.”
Rolling the paper label he peeled from the beer bottle, Chris stared absently out at the German city. It was probably a nice city. But to him it was empty, a mix of lights and darkness. As he stared out his hotel room, he noticed the dark more than the light. It did not even matter that it was a sunny afternoon. In that moment, it seemed like it was a representation of he and Alyssa. She was the light, he was the dark, and… he was overtaking everything at the moment.
He took a swig of the warm beer before pushing away from the window. Chris snatched up the phone, slurred his request to call back to the States, and sat on the edge of the bed. Without thinking, he dialed Alyssa’s number. Each ring tugged at the heartstrings of hope.
He felt utterly defeated when her answering machine picked up. Rather than slur a message, he slammed the phone down, finished his beer, and tossed the bottle at the wall. As the glass showered down onto the floor like glitter, he lit a cigarette, absently tossing the match into the trash can. Luckily only a few tissues and wadded up paper with abandoned lyrics burst into flame. Chris stared blankly at the fire, watching it burn out almost as quickly as it started.
“Fuck,” he muttered.
He should get up, go find bandmates or roadies or someone. He knew he needed to not just sit and stew in alcohol and pills all day. But as much as that voice tried to motivate him to stand, Chris could not. He did not want to see any of them. He did not want to see anyone. He just wanted Alyssa. He should not have toured without her. He should have brought her. He should have—
“Fuck,” he muttered again, putting his cigarette out just before it burned his fingers.
Stumbling to his feet, he made his way to the bathroom. After a quick piss, he drunkenly considered his options. He ended up in the shower a few minutes later.
Maybe it was the shower. Or maybe it was something else, but Chris did not feel quite as buzzed when he sat naked on the bed less than an hour later. He once more lit up a cigarette and reached for the phone. His request was less slurred than before, giving him a bolt of confidence. Things were okay. He was going to be okay. Alyssa was going to answer the phone this time.
“Hello?”
“Have I ever told you that you have the voice of an angel?” Chris asked.
“I miss you,” she responded.
“Oh fuck, Lyssie, I miss you more than I thought possible. Are you okay? Are your classes going okay? What are you wearing? What have you been doing? What—”
“I skipped class yesterday just to lay in your bed and smell you,” she claimed.
Chris sighed, “Oh, baby. I should have brought you with me.”
She was quiet for a long moment, long enough for him to double-check that the phone was still plugged in, “That just wouldn’t have worked. But I’ll be able to tour with you some time soon.”
“I cannot wait to show you around Europe. You will love it.”
“Tell me about it? Where are you now?”
“Some shithole in Germany.”
“Chris,” she warned.
“Well, if you want the truth, I have no fucking clue where I am. Just somewhere in Germany. And that I only know because there is beer everywhere,” he proclaimed.
Alyssa sighed, “Try to drink something besides beer, Chris.”
“I’m sure I can find some wine too.”
“Chris…”
“I just miss you, Lyssie.”
“I know. I miss you too. Please don’t do anything stupid,” she requested.
“How are the birthday plans going?” Chris asked.
“No idea. David is in charge. He wants to have Pearl Jam play.”
He chuckled, “I’m sure Eddie would do that for you. He likes you.”
She was quiet for a moment, “But they’re on tour, too.”
“Oh… well… I might be able to find someone else to play if you want,” he offered. “Red Hot Chili Peppers?”
Alyssa laughed, “You are not suggesting having them in your house for a party.”
“Well… maybe not them. But I could get Stone Temple Pilots for sure.”
“Um… no… pretty sure the lead singer is in jail or rehab,” Alyssa declared.
Chris instantly became silent. He was not sure how to move on from that statement, especially considering his own lack of sobriety in the moment – something he was just realizing that Alyssa could tell. That’s why she had been suggesting he drink something other than beer.
“Uh… maybe I should find something to eat,” he suggested. “What kind of cake are you going to have for the party?”
“I don’t know. Hopefully chocolate,” Alyssa responded. “I guess that’s one way to see if David really does know me as well as he claims to.”
“I’ll take care of the cake,” Chris suddenly decided. “Let him know.”
She chuckled softly, “Okay, Chris.”
He sat there silently for a long minute, “I really do wish you had come with me.”
“Next time, Chris. Next time,” she replied.
He sighed, “Lyssie?”
“Yeah?”
“There’s no light in the world without you by my side.”
She said nothing for a moment, “You’re my light too, Chris.”
“I love you.”